Page 14 of Cardinal

Okay, that was exhausting.

If she weren't some fragile woman (as in if she were a man), I probably would've just punched her in the face and told her to quit bitching and get over it. Yeah, I was a bastard—sue me. People didn't call me The Devil for no fucking reason, and I didn't earn that title by being nice. Something about Juliet, though, something about her makes me go soft.

Nothing about Juliet made sense to me, and I didn't want to try and figure that out right now when I needed my mind steeled and ready to deal with her parents in a bit. I'll just vent to Leah later since she was the one who was insistent on me being 'nice' to Juliet and spending time with her. Yeah, I had no plans to let Leah off the hook that easily.

"Now, no more frowning and moping. And for fuck's sake, relax. I am not going to rip your head off or do anything bad to you." Not that I could blame her for the last part because if I were her, I'd probably be wary of any man within a mile radius of me.

Then again, if I were her, I'd just go on a revenge-killing spree. Or at least, I'd like to think that to be the case. It was one thing to think and say something, but it was a whole different ball game to actually act it out. We all liked to think we were rough and tough, that we'd laugh in the face of danger, but life wasn't that simple.

I remember when I was her age and thought I was at the top of the world. Then, I got jumped one night by a rival mafia and completely froze at the sight of the gun when it trained on me. Even if my father had trained and prepared me for many different situations, having it happen outside a controlled training scenario was something else altogether.

Obviously, I wasn't the shit I thought I was.

"How about I make you a deal?" She perked up briefly at my words before she withdrew herself again. I didn't wait for her answer to continue, "No more sad Juliet for the rest of the car ride, and I'll take you out for some ice cream afterward. How does that sound?"

What the hell am I doing?

I shouldn't care about her feelings like this, nor should I bargain with her to make an attempt at lifting her feelings. The car shouldn't be pulled over, nor should her precious face be in my hands. I don't have time for this gentle guiding shit. I should be telling her to suck it up, drive to her parents, and let what happens happen. Yet, for some stupid reason, the thought of treating her like everyone else made my heart twist uncomfortably in my chest.

"I'm not a child… But fine, deal." She strained out with a defeated pout to her face. "But only because I've never had ice cream and want to try it." She quickly threw out before she pulled herself away from me and got comfortable in her seat while wiping away her stray tears with the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

"Okay, you have had to have ice cream in your life at least once." She couldn't have been that repressed and deprived of life under her parents.

Sighing softly, she shook her head with an ashamed frown on her face. "No, and the one time I tried at school when we had an ice cream party, one of the teachers on their payroll slapped it out of my hand. Next thing I know, I'm magically allergic to all things dairy, even though I can drink milk perfectly fine and eat cheese just fine. Unfortunately, since it's technically on my records as an allergy, no one could ever give me anything from then on out. But I swear, I'm not allergic to anything, at least nothing I'm aware of, and I'm gonna have an allergy test done with Leah after some more of my labs come back to make sure." Puffing her cheeks out in a pout, she huffed, crossed her arms, and slumped in her seat.

Unable to help it, I let out a soft chuckle and ruffled the top of her head before straightening myself back out in my seat. "Well, ice cream later if you behave, and once you're cleared, then we can slowly lower you into the waters." The last thing I needed was for her to be amped up on sugar or make herself sick by going crazy with trying new things.

"Can I pick whatever ice cream I want?" Though muted, the sparkle in her eyes was lovely to see. This was a breath of fresh air compared to the empty, scared eyes I'd somewhat gotten used to.

"Juliet, you can pick whatever flavor you want, though maybe stick to three max today so you don't get overwhelmed, alright?" Gotta keep it as a way to motivate her, too. If she tasted everything today, she wouldn't look forward to the next outing.

Wait, next outing? Why the fuck was I thinking about our next outing? There can't be another next time with any of this.

The rest of the car ride was silent, but not awkwardly so. It was a calm silence with how Juliet went into her own little world while staring out the window. Even though she had a small smile on her face, I could see the tension in her shoulders and her anxiety slipping through with her fiddling fingers. I thought about reaching over to ease her some, but she relaxed a little by the time I worked up the nerve to act. So, I kept to myself until we approached her parents' place.

Her body wound up like a spring ready to be sprung when I parked in front of the place, right outside the front doors. "Hey." I kept my voice low and soft as I reached out and grabbed her fidgeting hands in one of mine. "Look at me."

I felt her shiver in my grasp before her head turned towards me and her wary and fearful eyes fixed on mine. "I don't think I can do it. I want to throw up." She spoke in a broken voice, frowning at the end with an apologetic look.

Reaching my other hand out, I gently lifted her gaze back at me with a finger curled under her tiny chin. "Hey, remember, they can't touch you, and you won't see a ghost of them, not while I'm here. You can do this, and I know you can. I believe in you." They were a little too sweet for me, but they were words she needed to hear. Strangely, it didn't bother me as much to provide such reassurance to her, even if it wasn't my forte. Honestly, the most encouragement I've ever given someone was 'Don't die out there' or something along those lines.

"C-can you go to my room with me? I don't want to go alone." She asked sheepishly, chewing on her bottom lip in anticipation.

Smiling warmly at her, I softly pinched the tip of her chin. "If that is what little Juliet wishes." The sight of her bright smile caused a wave of warmth to burst within my chest. It kind of amazed me at how simple it was to lift her spirits and make those pretty eyes of hers light up with such wonder and excitement.

"Let me go deal with your parents first, then I'll come back to the car for you, alright?" Her smile faltered for a split second before she responded to me with a nod of her head. "What is on your mind?" A loaded question since there was probably the whole world on her mind right now.

Averting her eyes, she stared out the window momentarily before looking back at me with furrowed eyes. "You're not gonna kill them or harm them, are you?"

It confused me how worried she sounded. How could she worry for her parents after everything? Why should she even worry? Did she not want me to harm them? Even after all they did to her? Why?

"No, not unless they do something stupid to force my hand," I assured her through a forced smile and gritted teeth. "Why?"

"I don't know… I hate them, but I don't want them dead." Juliet paused and struggled with a wordless, gasping mouth.

But when she did get her bearings again, her next words truly surprised me.

"I don't want them to die. I want them to suffer… And I want to see them suffer, but I can't bear to face them right now… So, all that has to wait. I want them to see me thrive and be successful and regret their choices."

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