Page 25 of In My Closet

"Fawny." Gracie sighed with a pout as she leaned back in her desk chair. "You keep telling me about how much you're going to eat me up in your other form, tell me all the fun, get my hopes up, then refuse to even show me." She grumbled flatly with a stern glare.

Okay, that punched me in the gut with guilt because I did sweet talk the ever-living heck out of her during our late-night rumps about how crazy sex would be in my other form. To be fair, I shouldn't even be teasing her with the whole notion.

As much as I wanted to do all of it, it seemed more and more like something impossible. After studying the gate during my moments of boredom… I…

"Please, can we drop this subject again?" The subject became rather sore for me as the facts sunk into my bones.

Sighing heavily, I sat up from my spot in the closet with an apologetic smile. "One day." Maybe… Never…

"Alright… But, how far have you gotten with figuring out how to fix the gate to free yourself?" Her question made me wince involuntarily because the subject was tied to the previous.

The only problem was that she didn't know of the connection because I'd been deceiving her regarding it. It wasn't because I wanted to lie to her, though. I didn't know how to break it all to her.

This relationship of ours was still so new, to her at least. A month was fast by human standards, and even though she'd been adjusting well to me as a lover, dropping that kind of bomb on her was a sure way to lose her. Mate bond or not, I didn't want to risk anything when it came to my little blessing.

"Well, unless you're prepared to sacrifice a hundred human souls, there's no permanent escape for me." I lied smoothly through my smile with an aching heart.

Rolling her eyes, Gracie gave me a chuckle that turned dry. "Seriously, Fawny, have you figured out a way?" She asked through a forced smile.

Sighing heavily, I ran a hand through my hair. "It might not be a hundred souls… But I do need souls… So… Until I can figure out another way, this is how things will be for the foreseeable future." It wasn't a full lie, so the guilt didn't burn at my damned soul so badly.

Though, I couldn't help but laugh at myself internally at the irony of feeling guilty about lying. I mean, think about it: a demon feeling bad about lying. Yeah, fucking ironic.

"How did the gate even get messed up like that? I mean, if you're in charge of it, then what happened?" Gracie asked with a soft frown as she slid out of her chair to crawl over to me and snuggle with me.

"Gracie, you'll fall asleep on the ground again." I worried with a frown of my own. "You have a soft bed that won't fuck up your back."

Without missing a beat, she retorted, "But my bed doesn't have you, and you always beat everything in terms of comfort." Sleeping on the closet ground with me was a bad habit she'd formed throughout the past weeks ever since we started having sex more and more.

Sighing, I held her tightly against me and kissed the top of her head. I didn't know what to say for once in my life because the guilt from before swallowed me up like a void. There was a solution, but I didn't want to take it. Also, I refused to let her know about the full truth.

"But, back to before about the gate and everything… I mean, we've never really talked much about it, but I'm bored, and I have bad writer's block, so let's talk." Her finger prodded at my chest while her words pried at my mind, her sweet voice doing nothing to sway the temptation.

So, relenting with a sigh, I laid down with her atop me. "I should really try to convince you to get some more work done, but you're only going to get cranky with me if I do." I mused with a chuckle, rubbing the full length of her back with my hand.

Taking a moment of silence to collect my thoughts, I stared up at the ceiling momentarily before looking down at her round eyes peering up at me. "I came here to earth with Aesophedus and the other shadow princes to help govern over the humans with the angels God sent down. Between all of us, we're in charge of ensuring spirits go to their respective places, capturing escapees, culling the bad from humanity, and guarding over the humans."

Mindlessly twirling a lock of her hair between my fingers, I continued. "My job as a gatekeeper is to lure lost spirits to carry them to the afterlife, where they'll be judged. I also had to make sure no one or thing came back out from the other side, and if they did, I had to hunt them down."

I didn't know how deep or much I had to spill to Gracie, so I skipped to the important part she probably wanted to hear. "Long story short, some humans weren't so happy with me guiding their loved ones to the other side and not allowing them access or bringing people back to the land of the living. So, when I was out hunting one night, they fucked with my gate and were successful with it."

That dreaded night flashed through my mind like a horror movie on repeat as I recounted it for my mate. "They wanted to bring back their loved ones from the other side, and if I hadn't stopped them, then it would have been Hell on Earth. I didn't fix the gate fully, only managed to modify it enough to prevent them from entering Earth." Unintentionally, I gripped the back of her shirt out of irritation. "But in doing so, I created a barrier, where if anyone entered, they couldn't pass back unless they had certain authorities like me."

Taking a deep breath, I simmered myself. "Unfortunately, while I was doing damage control and forcing the spirits and demons back to the afterlife, the humans jumped me. The witches and warlocks managed to split my soul and body and trap me on the other side. Then they modified the gate to what it is before taking the keystone away."

Breathing in Gracie's soothing scent, I let my nerves calm. "I became trapped in an endless sleep after a while until you came along, where I woke but couldn't form my physical body until Levianth replaced that keystone." Only problem now was my soul, rather the two parts of it—the thing I refused to tell Gracie about out of fear. "In order to be fully free, the gate does need a sacrifice of a soul. Usually, that wouldn't be a problem because gateways like these are created to attract spirits, but this one was modified by the humans to deter. And I'm not exactly keen on fixing that quite yet and turning our home into a hotbed of paranormal activity while I am not at full strength or freedom to operate."

Brushing her hair out of her face, I painted her cheek with the tip of my finger while smiling at her sadly. "The last thing I want is for you to get hurt because I can't get to you in time or because of my restriction to the closet." That wasn't a lie either because it was too risky for both of us.

I was nowhere near my full strength and capabilities, so if spirits and demons stormed this place right now, I'd be fucked—not the fun kind of fucked.

Pinching the corner of her frowning lips, I pulled it into an awkward smile. "Cupcake, don't be sad. We'll figure it all out eventually." For the sake of my sanity, I needed to figure it out. I didn't want Gracie to be stuck with the label of being married to the demon stuck in a damn closet.

Hopefully, a change of subject would help. "Now, cheer up and tell me more about how far you've gotten with your story. Are you almost done?"

Forcing a smile on her face, she sighed softly with a nod of her head. "Yeah, almost done with the final touches… Just nervous about sending out the ARCs and release day." She worried her bottom lip between her teeth with a furrowed face until I squished her cheeks together with my big hand.

Grinning cheekily, I reached down and grabbed at her shorts. "You know what will help those nerves?" I asked in a suggestive tone, wiggling my eyebrows knowingly.

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