22
Kastoron
How bad would it be if I just disappeared right now?
Besides it being cowardly, and a big hit to my pride, at least it would save me from having an awkward talk with Stella.
Okay, maybe if I really thought about it like that, it sounded stupid and pathetic of me.
Sighing heavily, I reached my other hand up to cup her sad face with an apologetic look. "I am so sorry for your tears." I never thought I'd ever say that in my life. "I am sorry for the hurt I have caused you because of my own cowardice." Slowly, I slid out from under the bed and crawled under the sheets next to her.
"Kastoron, please, just talk to me. I'm so confused and hurt, and I just want answers to what has been going on with us." The weight of her broken plea felt like an anchor dragging me down to the frozen depths of the ocean—or the fiery pools of fire of home.
Wrapping my arms around her soft body, I pulled her flush against mine. "I am so sorry for being the cause of it all. I was being a coward and was trying to run away from my problems and my feelings. I was too afraid to accept the fact that someone so precious and perfect like you is my soulmate."
I could feel her body tense in my arms as her head peeled back to look up at me with furrowed brows. "What?" Confusion and anger of some kind hardened her soft brown eyes until they made me want to pull back to avoid the lashing I sensed to be coming.
Stella's nostrils flared with her heated exhale as her eyes narrowed at me angrily. "You've been a total asshole to me because you caught feelings for me and didn't want to accept them? I'm not even going to touch on what you said about me being a soulmate. I want to discuss your issue of being as emotionally constipated as a teenage boy." Her finger jabbed at my bare chest with nearly every word until I couldn't help the deep frown from pulling at the corner of my lips.
"It would have been one thing for you to disappear completely. At least then, I wouldn't have to deal with your weird silent treatment or wonder if I did something wrong this whole time. I mean, you fuck me, screw whatever sense I have out of my system, hold me so tenderly, and care for me, then nothing, just nothing." Seething breaths heaved from her chest before more anger-filled words slipped out of her plush lips. "You throw your little fits but refuse to show yourself fully. You visit me at night but refuse to be with me fully. You touch me but refuse to let me return the affection."
The anger in her voice faded to sadness as her voice slowly cracked with each tear that streaked down her cheek. "You left me. You left me so lonely, hurt, and broken. I wanted you, needed you, but you refused to come." Her hands slapped my chest and remained there as the tips of her fingers slowly dug into my pecs.
I didn't know what else to say or do right now besides apologize profusely to her and hold her tightly. "I am so sorry." I apologized with genuine remorse.
Sitting up with my back against the bed's headboard, I pulled her into my lap until she straddled me. Unable to help it, I took a moment to take in her precious beauty under the moonlight that shone through her window.
Cupping her face, I brought her lips to mine, kissing her passionately with a shudder. My heart felt like it would explode out of my chest with how much I poured into the kiss. All the affection and desire I felt for her was dumped into this soul-shattering kiss. "Stella doll," I whispered heavily against her lips.
Leaning my forehead against hers, the two of us looked deeply into each other's eyes deeply in a peaceful and understanding silence for a moment. "I will never do that to you ever again, I swear on my damned soul. I swear, I will be the soulmate you deserve from here on out. I will never let you go. I will always be there for you, no matter what. I will not run away, never again. I will spend the rest of our lives apologizing to you for the hurt I have caused you recently." Yeah, I definitely had a lot of groveling to do, but I wasn't too worried about my methods of apology.
Stroking her cheeks with my thumbs, I appreciated her bright smile with my own grateful one as I looked at her adoringly. "I swear, I will give you all the love and affection you deserve and more, and I swear to always treat you right and do right by you." Kissing her deeply once more in hopes of swaying her, I let our lips melt together until Stella hit my chest to be let up for breath.
"So, please, will you let me? Will you please give me one more chance?"
For some reason, the thought of her rejecting me because of my stupid actions gnawed at my heart and threatened to break me completely. The thought of life without her tore at me greatly after I accepted that she was my soulmate, but this anticipation trumped it by far.
before, after the fact of her being my soulmate, already tore at me considerably, but this anticipation trumped it by far.
I guess I was somewhat fine with the distance before and removing myself because I didn't know her decision and thoughts about a relationship between us. The idea of rejection would be far worse than being cursed to this place by my ex-lover.
Her silence did nothing to my anxious nerves as I searched her eyes and face for an answer.
"Stella doll, please, answer me? I swear, we can do whatever you want, and I'll let you do whatever you want to me. Just please answer me."
23
Stella
I should be slapping him across the face and yelling at him, not debating my options about whether or not I should entertain a relationship between us.
"What are soulmates to demons? Answer that first. Because my understanding is that soulmates are just two people destined to be together." If that was the case, was he only doing this because of some stupid destined fate?
As much as I wanted Kastoron, I wanted him to want me as well. I didn't want him to be with me because we were destined, prophesized, or some shit like that. It also made me feel icky to think of our potential relationship built on that notion.
Confused, Kastoron blinked at me mindlessly for a second before answering me, "Yes? No? I mean." Stopping, he cleared his throat and shook his head as if to clear it. "Yes, soulmates are two people destined to be together in a way, but it's much deeper and complicated than that."
Taking a deep breath, he ran a hand through his hair and looked at me with a serious face but intrigued eyes. "Soulmates are two souls determined to be together by the big guy in the sky and Lucifer himself. In a way, to you humans, it's kind of like having that one special someone out there for you. Essentially, it's the same idea, but soulmates are literally your other half."