Page 154 of The Blame Game

“Who exactly are the all you you’re talking about?” Shea drew back, reaching for his fork.

“You, Dustin, Ronnie, hell, even Murphy got in on it.”

“Clearly you keep some smart company,” Shea fired back.

Surprised, Dom let out a small laugh. “Clearly I do.”

They ate in silence for a moment before Dom admitted, “I’m considering player development for a career. I just don’t know that it’s the right fit either.”

“No,” Shea said slowly. “I can see you doing that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. You’ve talked about looking out for the rookies, mentoring younger players—”

Dom winced. “I haven’t done as much as I should have with Colton.”

“Yates?”

Dom nodded. “I felt …” He pushed at the remaining salad greens with his knife. “I felt envious of him, you know? He was what I used to be.”

“Baby …”

The tenderness in Shea’s voice made Dom swallow hard. “I know, it’s ridiculous.”

“No, it isn’t.” The vehemence in Shea’s voice made him glance up. “You think I didn’t feel envious of my buddies getting to play for the teams that drafted them? You think that for a while, I didn’t resent every bit of success they had?”

“But you got over it,” Dom pointed out. “And Jesus, you were what? Eighteen? Nineteen at the time? I’m fucking forty years old. I should know better.”

Shea leaned forward. “I don’t think there’s an age limit for learning from our mistakes. Or for growing, either. And I think that when we—when we can’t be open about who we are, that sets things back.”

Dom scowled. “It’s not an excuse.”

“It’s not,” Shea agreed. “But it might be a reason. I’m feeling that right now too.”

“Yeah?”

“Working as a stylist held me back from a lot of things,” Shea said and Dom didn’t have to be a genius to know that it wasn’t the fashion advice part of his job he was talking about.

Or, former job, Dom corrected.

It still stunned him to realize that Shea had quit. Quit with everyone else but him.

The thought was humbling. What had Shea seen in him that made him want to continue with Dom?

What did that mean?

Was this more than a PR cover-up? Were they actually dating but too chickenshit to actually discuss it?

“And don’t get me wrong,” Shea continued. “I liked doing it. I just … there were a lot of things that other people were doing that I didn’t do.”

“Like date?” Dom asked.

Shea shrugged. “If you mean going out to restaurants and events with someone I care about, then yes.”

“But not the going out with a ton of other people?” Dom asked with a lift of his eyebrows.

“Nah.” Shea shook his head. “Those aren’t the experiences I missed. I don’t have to date a lot of people to know what I want.”

---