Page 51 of Under Control

Bauer stood to attention. “No ma’am! Or, actually, yes, ma’am. I’ve heard you’re leaving.”

“I am.” Espinosa’s tone made it clear she wasn’t interested in follow-up questions.

Completely ignoring the warning, Bauer asked, “So, any particular reason?”

Espinosa’s gaze shifted over to Alex. He glared at her and she rolled her eyes. “My reasons for leaving are personal. Now, if you could give us some privacy, I have a few matters to discuss with Alex.”

That was so unexpected that Alex dropped his scowl. “What? I don’t want to talk to you.”

“I don’t care. I’ve tolerated you for these past three years, but now that I don’t have to play nice with the captain, I won’t put up with this stupid act of yours.”

“Act? What act?” Alex had no clue what she was talking about, and to top it all off, his body was suddenly making it known that he’d pushed too hard with the workout.

“This!” Espinosa shouted, gesturing wildly at him. “This thing where you pretend like you have no clue what you’re doing. The captain blamed you for the fiasco with Parsons, and he used you to get around the container situation. He was never like this before you! What’s actually been going on? Who are you, really?”

“What the fuck are you on about?” Alex glanced at Bauer, but she shook her head in bewilderment. Apparently, Espinosa didn’t give a fuck about making a public scene anymore either.

“No! Give me a straight answer, since the captain wouldn’t. What happened to Parsons?”

“He fucking tried to turn me against Tracht! Wanted me to betray him. But fuck that. I wasn’t going to put up with it. You would have turned him in immediately too! Or maybe not? Since apparently you had no problem betraying him this week.”

It was probably a good thing that Bauer was there. Alex was starting to see red, and even the exhaustion from his workout wasn’t enough to mitigate his desire to beat Espinosa bloody. She had balls, accusing him of being a bad influence. It was her fucking fault that Tracht had gotten hurt in the first place.

“Hey, maybe this isn’t the best time or place for a discussion,” Bauer said. “Let’s all chill, all right?”

Espinosa turned her attention towards Bauer. “Chill? Would you be able to chill, if you’d seen a man beaten bloody? If you’d heard the captain’s sick fantasies—”

“Shut the fuck up!” Alex roared, thrusting his arm out and catching the punching bag in a heavy punch. “Tracht’s fantasies are none of your fucking business, and I wouldn’t have had to beat anybody if you hadn’t run your bitch mouth. This was all your fault!”

“My fault? My fault? If the captain hadn’t gone out of his way to rescue you from those kidnappers, we’d never have been in this situation at all!”

All of a sudden, Alex was back in that room, tied to the chair. He could feel his jaw screaming in pain as they pulled the tooth out. Again. Always the fucking tooth. The bitch was yelling at him, taunting him. Telling him she’d kill him soon. Johan cried next to him, sobbing and sobbing like he’d been the one to get tortured. It was always Alex. Alex was always on the receiving end. He started heaving, bile rising in his throat from the pain, and he lashed out. His fist collided with something heavy. Had to be the other guy, the one filming everything.

“Alex! Alex!”

Why the fuck was Johan crying out for him? Alex didn’t give a shit about the brat. He had his own problems. His entire body was dripping with sweat, the pain in his mouth traveling down his arms to his fists.

“Alex!”

A shock of cold water splashed over him. Alex blinked and found himself standing in front of the punching bag. His knuckles were bloody where he’d broken the skin. He stared numbly at them, trying to figure out how he’d gotten there.

“Hey, are you okay?” Bauer asked in a soft voice. She was holding her water bottle in her hand, lid off. It took Alex a moment to remember that she’d been in the room with him earlier.

“What?” Alex looked around. They were the only two in the gym now. His shirt was soaked down one side.

“You were having a flashback of some sort.”

“A what now?” Alex frowned and tried to unclench his hands, grimacing at the stiffness and the pain from the bruises. He hoped he hadn’t broken anything. He still wasn’t sure why he’d punched the bag like that.

Bauer grimaced. “A flashback. It’s when your mind sends you back to a traumatic event. I’m guessing the incident Espinosa referenced—”

“Where’d the bitch go?”

“She got pretty scared of you when you started screaming,” Bauer explained. She was speaking barely above a whisper, and Alex noticed that she was keeping well away from him. “I think she felt bad about triggering you. I chewed her out about it anyway. She had to have known that you’ve been through some trauma.”

“The fuck are you talking about?” Alex snarled. “I’m fine.”

“Uh, you’re clearly not.” Bauer pointed at Alex’s fists. “Your form is usually way too good to allow for that.”

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