Page 47 of Under Control

“You can have that, only because I don’t actually want to be the reason somebody gets murdered or tortured or whatever.” She huffed and looked him in the eye. “But I quit. This is it. I’ll hand in my resignation later today. I’ll stay to help with the departure procedures, but forget about me making another trip with you. And I expect sparkling references from you.”

No mention of a possible severance package, but Tracht supposed he would have to pay her something anyway. He picked up the data chip before she changed her mind about it. He was tempted to check its contents immediately, but he couldn’t risk it containing a virus. He would simply have to trust that she was being honest about its contents.

“It will be a shame to see you go, but I suppose it’s for the best. The resentment this affair has bred would have been… difficult to work through.” Tracht wanted nothing more than to kick her out, or to hurt her. Lucky for her she was female. There was a reason he preferred hiring women to the officer positions.

“Was all of this an act?” She gestured wildly at him.

“Excuse me?”

“This… calm reasonableness. I’ve seen you get angry, but usually when there’s an actual issue. But yesterday—yesterday, the things you said. The way you acted—that was the real you, wasn’t it? You wanted Alex to kill somebody. You wanted to whip a man! That isn’t kinky sex games!”

Not to her, it wouldn’t be, but Tracht would never let slip the depth of his depravity now that he was in full control of himself. “Ms. Espinosa—you’ll find that people have various facets to themselves. When I’m at work, I do my utmost to maintain the same level of professionalism that I expect from my crew. When I’m in private, I do enjoy those kinky sex games. And when I’m beaten, kidnapped, drugged and—and sexually assaulted, I’m afraid you’ll have to forgive me if I wasn’t able to stop every nasty thought from being spoken out loud.”

“No. No, I won’t forgive that.” She took a few steps back. “I enjoyed most of my time on the Sigrun, Captain, but I can’t continue to work for you, knowing what I do now. I don’t wish the Nilsens on you, but if the law ever catches up to you, I won’t shed a tear.”

Then she left, her boots seeming to pound in time with his headache.

===

Alex got back to the ship still feeling kind of shitty, even after Nadia had modeled a bunch of lingerie. It hadn’t turned him on, not even a bit, which was probably good since Alex had never bothered to put his cock cage back on and everybody woulda been able to see his hard-on.

He stepped into the room cautiously, half expecting Tracht to yell at him again, but he was met with silence. Tracht was lying across the couch, staring off into nothing, not even acknowledging that Alex had come in.

That pissed Alex off, to the point where he contemplated not stripping his clothes off. But he wanted Tracht in a better mood than this, so he took care to not only remove his clothes, but to pointedly drop them in the laundry hamper too.

Still nothing.

Alex walked over to the couch and got on his knees near Tracht’s head, catching Tracht’s eyes with his own. Tracht’s eyes were bloodshot, his hair was disheveled, and a layer of scruff covered his cheeks.

“You look like shit,” Alex said.

Tracht snorted, then reached out to stroke Alex’s hair. “Language. And I know.”

Alex leaned into the touch, surprised—but still relieved—that Tracht wasn’t pulling on Alex’s hair. He’d gotten pretty used to that sensation by now, to the point that he didn’t mind, even if he preferred it when Tracht was gentle. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensations until Tracht pulled his hand away.

He thought maybe Tracht had fallen asleep, but he was staring off into nothing again, a slight frown on his face.

“Uh… is everything okay?” Alex asked. Probably shouldn’t have, because Tracht didn’t like to tell Alex things, but he was getting antsy not knowing what to expect.

Tracht sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I have a headache. And Ms. Espinosa handed in her resignation. Or will hand it in, I don’t know. I haven’t checked my mails since then. I need to find a replacement for her, I need to reschedule all of my meetings, I need to clean up. I need to shave, but my hands aren’t steady enough for that, and—” Tracht rolled onto his back, hiding his expression from Alex. And, Alex, if I were in better condition I would want to take my frustrations out on you, except even then I wouldn’t be able to trust myself to stay in control, which makes it not an option, and that angers me even further.”

“Oh.” Alex tilted his head to rest against the side of the sofa. He mulled over what Tracht had said, his insides flipping around over the weird confession. He was getting surprisingly turned on; Tracht vulnerable like this was even better than the previous night when Tracht had been pawing Alex with abandon. “Can I do anything?”

He heard Tracht chuckle. “I have absolutely no idea.”

“Do you want me to run a bath?” Alex asked. Baths always seemed to put Tracht in a good mood, and they had to take advantage of the steady supply of water while they were on station anyway. Tracht had called the large tub his one indulgence; apparently it had cost him quite a bit extra to get it installed, but he’d deemed it worth it.

“I suppose.”

Alex went to do that, lost in thought. If Espinosa was leaving, maybe things would be better around the ship. He’d never liked her and her stuck up attitude anyway, always pretending she was better than Alex. Plus, it was her fault all this shit had happened in the first place. He poured bath salts into the water and then went to get Tracht.

“I’m fine. I can walk on my own,” Tracht said when Alex tried to help him up. The refusal miffed Alex, but he kept his hands to himself.

Tracht undressed slowly, hissing when he lifted his arms up. “Ah. That’s going to sting for a while.” He left his clothes on the floor and stepped into the bathtub slowly. As soon as he was submerged—only up to his chest, since his neck was still swathed in bandages—he groaned. “That does feel nice.”

Alex sat down next to the tub and began soaping up the loofah. “I’ll just wash you, okay?”

“All right.”

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