Page 45 of Under Control

“I think I will. Especially after what you just told me. I thought about Lina or Charlie being in Tracht’s position, and I just froze up. And I also thought—if somebody did that to me, I would want them to be the ones to take care of me.”

“So, if I hadn’t just told you all that stuff, you’d have decided to leave?”

“No, no. I’d already talked to them about it. They both didn’t want to pressure me, but they did want me to stay. And I didn’t want to get in the way. I guess there are a few communication issues that we’ll have to deal with, but three is always more complicated than just two.” Nadia sighed loudly and let go of Alex. “I think it’ll just be a different dynamic. Knowing that I could leave at any time, even if I don’t want to. We’ll have to get used to it.”

Great, now Alex was thinking about his own future. He didn’t want to imagine life without Tracht, but Tracht had kicked him out. Maybe this is what he would feel like all the time, and he didn’t like it. He didn’t want to be this… this annoyed, and angry, and… something.

“Do you think Tracht actually likes me?” Alex asked. “He said a bunch of nice stuff while he was drugged up, but he was drugged up.”

“I really have to remember that you’re very self-absorbed.” Nadia laughed though. “But yes, Alex, I think Tracht likes you. I think he wouldn’t have kept you around if he didn’t. The previous bondservants barely lasted three months, and you’re going on three years now.” Then she stood up, tugging on Alex’s arm as she did. “Come on. Let’s go shopping. I’ll find a nice outfit to wear for Lina and Charlie tonight. You can help me out and not think about all the stuff that’s bothering you. I know you hate thinking.”

“Hey!” Alex growled, but he wasn’t all that annoyed. “Am I going to have to see every one of your piercings again? The ones on your pussy still freak me out.”

One of the other patrons gaped at them, and Alex flipped him off and glared at him. The guy blanched and looked away. Yeah, Alex was still a scary mofo.

===

Tracht regretted sending Alex away about an hour after he’d done it, because he suddenly didn’t want to be alone. Which was irritating in and of itself; he’d never had an issue with relative isolation, and often preferred his own company to that of others.

It was for the best. He doubted he’d have treated Alex kindly, and while he had no issue mistreating Alex under normal circumstances, he wanted to be fully in control of himself when he did it.

The painkillers Singh brought by did help, soothing the headache and the throbbing around his neck. Singh also casually mentioned that Alex had gone to meet with Nadia, which solved the question of where Alex had gone and put him squarely out of Tracht’s reach for the moment.

He answered his mails as best he could, even more irritated by the usual unreasonable demands or attempts to haggle his prices down to untenable levels. He’d almost pressed send on a sarcasm-laden message implying his client was an idiot of the highest order before he realized what he was doing. He quickly deleted the draft and set his tablet aside.

Watching the news didn’t help; watching a movie hadn’t taken his mind off things either. He ate a few leftovers—although he noted with annoyance that the cherries were all gone—and tried to sleep.

Naturally he had fitful dreams, and when he woke he instinctively reached for Alex, who wasn’t there. Anger bubbled up again, more at himself this time, and he finally had to concede that the entire affair had left him far too unsettled.

With disgust, he began looking for therapists on Atalanta. He hated therapy with a passion, and he doubted any of them would help, but he couldn’t continue in this manner and he needed to be in top shape by the time they departed. Just as long as they didn’t ask about his mother.

He was surprised by the knock on the door. Not Alex, since Alex would have simply barged in; Singh had already dropped off the medication with strict instructions, and there was no need for her to return.

He looked down at himself, still wearing sweats and a t-shirt, his face unshaven, and thought of turning away whoever it was.

“Captain? I need to speak with you,” Espinosa said through the door.

Well, she’d seen him worse off the previous day, and Tracht wasn’t feeling particularly charitable towards her anyway. He left the bed and settled on the couch before unlocking the door. “Yes, come in.”

Espinosa, unlike him, was dressed as professionally as ever. He’d always appreciated her professionalism; it was one of the reasons he had hired her in the first place, and in all the years she’d served as first officer, she had never disappointed him on that front.

It was clear, however, that she was not there to address ship matters. The headache, which had dulled over the past few hours, flared up again.

“Ms. Espinosa. How may I help you?”

She entered the room and stood in front of him, looking down at him. The position unsettled Tracht, although he didn’t have the energy to stand.

“I’m not sure. I thought of waiting until you were more recovered, but I realized that wasn’t an option for me. I need to know exactly what happened.” The anger was evident in her voice and the way her jaw clenched.

Tracht had so little desire to talk to her at that moment, though he knew the conversation was inevitable. “You saw what happened. When the container was not delivered as promised, the client decided to take it out on me. I’m afraid your name did slip out while I was under…duress, shall we say. I doubt there will be repercussions, but you might want to avoid dark alleyways in the future.”

She shook her head, not appeased. “No. That’s not what I meant. Why was this container on our ship? And then later, why did you lie to me? You said you’d handed it over to customs.”

Somebody save him from morally upstanding people. “I lied, Ms. Espinosa, because I could not afford the container not reaching its destination. I believe I mentioned why the deal happened. A year ago, when Alex was kidnapped—”

“When your nephew was kidnapped, you mean. Alex wasn’t the target.”

And didn’t she sound just like Anna. Tracht had to take a breath to avoid lashing out. “When both of them were kidnapped, it became clear very fast that Alex was on nobody’s priority list. You did not see the vids of him being tortured, Ms. Espinosa, but given your reactions yesterday to the mild violence Alex exerted on Iglesias and his thugs, I doubt you would have enjoyed them. And while I have no doubt that Anna’s kidnapping specialist would have found them, I believe by that point, Alex would have been damaged almost beyond repair.

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