Page 87 of Under His Heel

Parsons looked over at Alex, and he must have seen how uncomfortable Alex was. “Right. Anyway, I just… wanted to apologize formally. About how I treated you.”

“How you treated me?” Sure, Parsons had been a dick, but he hadn’t really done anything.

“I shouldn’t have made assumptions about… about you and what you wanted. I tried to railroad you into a course of action because I didn’t consider your autonomy. That doesn’t make me much better than the Captain.”

From Alex’s point of view, Parsons and Tracht were nothing alike, but he wasn’t gonna tell Parsons that. If he wanted to feel guilty, Alex wouldn’t stop him. “Why’d you do it then?”

Parsons leaned back against the wall. “A character flaw. One that Xiaoyu, and now Kai, berated me about.”

“Huh?” The air in the small bunk area was getting a bit warm. Alex shuffled a bit farther away from Parsons, almost bumping his head against the top bunk when he sat up too far.

“If there was one thing Xiaoyu didn’t like, it was my hero complex. I dunno. I like helping people. And that’s fine, except sometimes I don’t stop and think about whether my help is needed. Xiaoyu told me to stop trying to rescue her from every little conceived slight. And then when Meilin was born, man, my protective instincts were in overdrive. I drove Xiaoyu crazy. She told me I had to let Meilin make her own mistakes sometimes.” Parsons shrugged. “I guess I forgot a bit without Xiaoyu around to remind me. I was talking to Kai and he pointed out that I’d done the same thing as always.”

Something was wrong with Alex’s chest. It was feeling weirdly tight, like something was blocking the blood flow. Alex clenched his hands and tried to figure out what to say. His voice ended up coming out a bit mangled when he said, “I don’t—I don’t need you to protect me. I can take care of myself.”

Parsons nodded. “Yeah. Intellectually, I know that. But we’re friends, and I can’t help but want to look out for my friends.”

What did people normally do in these situations? Alex knew that kissing was out—Parsons wouldn’t like it, Tracht wouldn’t like it, and Alex didn’t think he’d actually like it all that much either. He tried to remember what he and Nick did, and even there Alex was drawing a blank. He couldn’t recall ever having had a conversation like this with Nick.

“I guess… uh.” Alex stuttered and decided he didn’t want to be in the room anymore. He carefully stood up and stepped backwards towards the door. “Thanks. I think. I’m leaving.”

“Hey, Alex. I’ll try not to do it again, okay? Let’s just go back to hanging out like we did before.”

Alex nodded, not looking at Parsons, and then got out of there.

===

It was actually good that Parsons had apologized. Alex got to sit in the lounge and watch movies with everybody, and Parsons got Alex to join in on a few pool games, too. A couple of the other crew members gave Alex weird looks, but Alex just reminded himself that if they did anything, Tracht would rip them a new one and boot them off the ship as soon as he could. That thought made him almost wish they would try something, but everybody who’d been around to witness Carpenter’s humiliation was too smart for it, and the newbies had been warned in advance.

Alex and Parsons ended up watching a movie a few days later, one that Alex had seen before. “Nick and I watched this movie like ten times,” he said. “Kinda makes me miss him. Except if I ever see him again I’m gonna mess him up real bad.”

Parsons tensed. “That’s the brother you don’t like? The criminal one?”

“The only one I have,” Alex said. “We laughed so hard about this dude’s death face.” He pointed at the screen, where the slutty guy was getting chased by the serial killer.

“So… how did your brother get started in crime?” Parsons scratched his chin. “Were your parents like that too?”

Slightly annoyed since he really wanted to watch the movie, Alex turned his full attention to Parsons. “I dunno? Never knew my dad. Mom mostly had boyfriends who paid for stuff. If she was stealing or conning, she never shared her winnings with us.” Alex shrugged. “After we… after we left, Nick figured out that people will give you anything if you just ask the right way.”

Parsons flinched lightly, and the guy on the screen got severed in half by the killer. Alex laughed at the dumbfounded look on his face.

“Yeah, that’s the face. Man, you’d think they’d learn.”

“I think most people don’t expect to get… to get mugged or conned or murdered,” Parsons muttered.

If he didn’t like the movie, why were they even watching it? Alex would have been fine playing pool instead, and it wasn’t like he’d been the one to choose it either—that had been the other two crew members in the room, chatting quietly amongst themselves a bit farther away.

“The guy shoulda paid more attention and not been dumb enough to fall for the obvious trap,” Alex countered.

Parsons sat up straighter and looked at Alex. “Really? You don’t have moral or ethical objections to any of it?”

“What the heck are you talking about? It’s just a dumb movie.”

That made Parsons laugh kind of drily. “Right. Yeah. A dumb movie.”

Weird. Alex shook off his discomfort and turned his attention back to the movie.

… But why would Alex have ‘moral or ethical objections’ over a movie?

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