Page 48 of The Pakhan

“Try and get some rest, Caroline. The storm is passing.” The only thing I hadn’t believed until now was how difficult it would be to separate my emotions from doing my job.

That included protecting her.

As soon as I backed away, she struggled to get to her feet.

I didn’t bother looking at her as she tied the sash, returning to the bar. Now I hated myself for what I’d done and what I was about to say to her. Yes, it would confuse the fuck out of her. Hell, it would drive me more than insane, especially if a man touched her. However, for now, I had to face our harsh reality whether either one of us wanted to or not.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning your entire demeanor just shifted all over again. Why?”

Sighing, I rubbed my eyes. I was certainly exhausted. “What I told you about the level of danger is real, Caroline. I’ve agreed to protect you against the fuckers trying to do this, but I can’t do that without any trust in myself.”

She was taking cautious but deliberate steps in my direction. In the limited stream of light, I was able to catch her expression.

Confusion.

Disbelief.

Fury.

“You mean around me,” she hissed.

“Yes.”

“So spit it out, Vadim. What are you trying to say?”

“That protecting you won’t be a possibility if I’m fucking you.”

The tension between us increased tenfold. “Excuse me? I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“Yes, I’m certain you did, and that you understand the meaning of my words.” I turned toward her. “Right now, this can’t happen again.”

“Right now? So you’re assuming I’ll wait until your mood swing hits again. Is that it?”

I didn’t answer.

“Is that fucking it?”

“Yes, I lost control and that wasn’t good for either one of us.”

“In whose world, Vadim? Not in mine.”

I knew she couldn’t understand. How could she?

She laughed softly as she turned her head. I was surprised she wasn’t pushing or whining about what had to be. “Let me get this straight. You used me. My body for your twisted satisfaction. Right?”

“Don’t look at it that way.”

“Then how am I supposed to look at it?”

“As me protecting you to the best of my ability.”

Her smile surprised me until I noticed it was laced with venom. And the moment she cracked her hand across my jaw, I knew she had to do so to try to make herself feel better.

“I hate you, Vadim. I really do. I don’t know what I was thinking but the yin and yang of you is driving me crazy. You’re right. This will never happen again.”

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