Page 74 of The Pakhan

“That was the past. The fucker had no right to toss that tragedy in my face.”

“Don’t you know why he did? He knew I’d ask you, which would in turn unravel you. Don’t allow that to happen. What happened? Did this person have anything to do with it?”

“Anything is possible because her shooter was never found and no one laid claim to her murder.”

“Murder? Does Sofiya know?”

He chortled and rubbed his hand through his hair. “She doesn’t need to. That would only disturb her worse than growing up without a mother.”

“But she deserves to know the truth.”

His laugh was hollow, devoid of emotion. “What truths are really out there any longer?”

“A lot of them, some irrefutable. The dawn will rise in the morning, and the sun will set at night. The sky is blue, the earth round. And love can conquer all.”

“If only it were that simple, but you are wise beyond your years.”

“I’m just observant. Plus, I adore nature.” I was trying to be light, but he was stuck in a horrible fog.

We weren’t a real couple, not really, but the silence was as troubling for me as it must be for him.

“It’s your turn to trust me, Vadim. Whether or not you like the fact I’m your daughter’s best friend, you’ve known me long enough it should allow for some level of trust between us. Something happened at the same time with Daniella’s parents. Right? That’s why you felt obligated to adopt her.”

He gripped and squeezed my arm but I sensed he was angry I’d figured it out. “You’re very trustworthy, Caroline. You wouldn’t be in my house or my bed if you weren’t.”

“Then why won’t you tell me?”

His sigh was painful even to me. “There are some aspects of my life best not relived. It was a dark period, a time when even I believed in the possibility of fairytales. My father told me early on having the right woman by my side would make all the difference in the world.”

“How so?”

“He’d never lied or tried to hide the business we were in, the one that has been in our bloodline for generations. Hell, the man relished telling us stories of the years he’d spent growing up in Russia, the brutality of his father something he’d admired. He’d never intended on falling for an American woman or that she’d have such a powerful effect on him.”

“How sad that he grew up that way.”

He kissed my forearm and at least he was more relaxed.

“That was the way of things in my grandfather’s world. The marriage between him and my grandmother had been arranged, forged from the blood of a violent struggle between two families. It was believed peace would befall the city once the union was created. All it did was leave bitter tastes in people’s mouths. The one decent thing my grandfather had done was encourage my dad to forge his life in another country.”

“He loved your dad.”

“Yeah, he did in his own way, even though from what I’ve heard, the man didn’t know how to love anyone. But Pops found a woman when he was least expecting it, running into her inside a bakery. They hit it off right away and as the fairytales would have it, after a passionate two months they were married. Against her parents’ wishes I might add. One sad reason I never spent time with either set of grandparents. But Dad was a good example of how love could change a person. I allowed myself to believe the same.”

“Isn’t that what you had?”

“For a couple of years, yes, and Pops was right about the balance. I was able to leave the business of my job outside our front door,” he said. “Maybe that was a false or jaded way of looking at it but when I got home, my entire world changed, becoming an oasis. Whatever horrors I’d inflicted that day, whatever businesses I’d destroyed in the name of profit hadn’t mattered. I could be a father and a husband.”

“That sounds wonderful, like what anyone would want.”

He pulled my arm away, rising from the bed, grabbing his shirt. “Yes, it was but what I learned after Tonja died was that happiness wasn’t allowed for a man who was already damned.”

“Maybe she was your salvation. Did you ever think of that?”

As he pulled a pair of jeans from the dresser drawer, he didn’t look in my direction. Only after he’d yanked them over his sculpted hips did he say anything else. “It doesn’t work that way, Caroline. I wish it could, but the truth is when I sold my soul, I sold my rights to have anything to do with joy. Rightfully so.”

“I didn’t see you as a man who felt sorry for himself.” I wasn’t certain what to think about his admission.

“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m simply stating facts. You should try and get some sleep. I just have a couple phone calls to make.”

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