Page 90 of Of Daggers and Deceit

I didn’t mention that Riley was there. I didn’t want any more to be said aloud, not whilst we were still in this city.

Realisation dawned on his beautiful, golden face. “That’s why you tried to leave with her. That’s why she agreed; she knew something was wrong.”

His fingers grabbed onto my hips, dragging me closer towards him.

I nodded, the pressure on my heart lightening the more we spoke.

“Please. We need to leave the Haven, Bodhi,” I begged, and for once, he didn’t argue. Instead, he looked at me in pained contemplation as he worried his bottom lip.

“What if there was another way,” he began, and I shook my head, pointing to the spot on my neck where we knew our trackers sat.

“You’ve seen us, Ray, at the defence. We get smashed every single year. People die, Raya. How can we survive beyond the shield when we can barely survive within it?”

I placed my hands on his chest, resting my ear against it listening to the thump, thump of his heart. “I need to be strong, Bodhi, to wield my gift as dangerously as they wield all their assets. I am hopeful that if I just work harder, I can be enough.”

He grabbed my biceps and pulled me away from him, his honeyed eyes ensnaring mine. “You are always enough, Raya, but that is the problem: you think you can just do it all yourself.” He frowned again, turning away from me.

I sighed, wanting to reach for him but instead choosing to withhold for now.

“You didn’t trust me,” he said as his shoulders slumped and he walked across to our lounge, falling on it.

“I’m sorry.” I moved across to him, falling into his lap and tucking myself against him.

Please hold me. Don’t reject me like I did you.

He curled his arm around me, soft puffs of his breath stirring the stray hairs on my head.

I exhaled in relief, my chest warming from his touch.

“But she’s gone, Raya,” he breathed, and guilt mixed with determination came roaring back to life.

“We will get her back. We will,” I confirmed, my conviction strengthening. “But if I stay here and he finds out, I will die, and I will never leave this city without you Bo, without them. You’re right. We are better together, stronger together, and my plan was stupid and selfish.”

I hadn’t thought of that until the words fell from my lips, but it was true. The reason our plan had failed was because I had tried to do it all on my own when I should have been honest with Bodhi at the very least, despite the risk of Zander finding out. Because we would have gone together and been safe.

As a family, we were strong, and I knew in my heart of hearts that nothing outside of this city, not even Dominants, could stand in our way. If only we worked together.

“I’m not going to watch you die, Raya,” he said as he drew his other arm around to lightly pinch my cheek and tilt my head towards his. “I will not watch you die.”

“I don’t want you to watch me die,” I breathed. “I want to see us thriving and free. I want to wake up early and watch the sunrise in a valley that is lush and so full of life. I want others around me to complain that their cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing too much. I want us to not have to watch over our shoulders, to not wake up to sirens and screams. I want to wear nice, clean clothes, and I want us to sit down and eat a warm meal until our bellies are so full and bloated that we cannot move.”

He listened intently, his touch so gentle and reverent.

“And I want to share your dreams. Every time I close my eyes, they are so close, I can almost reach them, like they exist somewhere just beyond this city, if only we were brave enough to take that terrifying leap. I want to be brave, Bodhi. I want to live just as fiercely as I love. I want to experience all these things with you by my side.” I lifted towards him, my lips tentatively skimming his. “I’ve always wanted to do all these things with you by my side. Not as my friend, Bodhi. Never as my friend, but as my future. My partner.”

My lips brushed against his, and I paused, hoping he still wanted me, that he wanted all of that too. The seconds passed, and it felt like a lifetime. My anxiety sky-rocketed, and dark thoughts began to invade of a hopeless, loveless future without him, my nightmare becoming real.

But then he spoke, quietly but purposefully, which stirred something fierce and protective inside me, my resolve hardening that we could do this.

“I lied to you yesterday, Raya.”

I waited, sucking in a nervous breath.

“I was angry and I lied. If you left, I would follow. Even if it meant my end, I would follow. I’ve come to learn that I cannot imagine a life without your stubborn, beautiful, reckless soul in it, and I am terrified for the world if you were to leave me. Of the things I would do to this world if someone took you from it. So, if you believe there is an opportunity for something better beyond this city, even if it is the smallest hope, I will follow and fight alongside you, even for the tiniest chance those dreams might come true.”

I could have cried right then as joy ripped through me. I could have sobbed in relief, but I didn’t. Instead, I slid my hand up his neck, running my hand across the back of his shaved head, feeling the prick of his hair against my palm as I pulled his head down until his lips captured mine.

Bodhi’s groan when my tongue dipped into his mouth made my stomach flutter. It started as a pleasant tingle that travelled south, both of us fighting for dominance, just as we always did. This time, though, it was in a mutually rewarding way.

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