I glared at him. “I took a blade to the chest last night, and I still don’t look half as shit as you do.”
Hayden smiled grimly, exposing a chipped incisor. “Last night was…not good.”
I quirked an eyebrow at him, a grim look on his face.
“How many?” My voice was quiet as he watched the horizon in the distance.
“Two.”
“Have they…” I trailed off, my throat tightening. Raya didn’t truly understand how stupid she had been last night, how risky it had been.
“We buried them last night, those of us who could. They died with honour and were buried with honour, as we promised.”
I sat up again, watching the sun begin its ascent in the distance, catching on the form shifting up from the sand near the barrier, her head looking left to right before slumping again.
“Why are you not with her?” he asked, his knees now drawn up and his arms slumped over them.
I frowned. I couldn’t be with her right now. I was hurt and angry. I didn’t want her to see me like this.
“She tried to leave the Haven.” I heard his sharp intake of breath.
“What? Is she insane?” he hissed, and I laughed bitterly.
“Tia is gone. The only parental figure I’ve loved is gone, and she had planned to leave me behind.”
His mouth opened and closed, as if he didn’t quite know what to say to me in those moments. This was meant to be my year. I’d told him as such.
Now, it all just felt like an absolute joke.
I expected him to question me on it, make light of it, but he didn’t. Not even in the slightest.
“I’m sorry, brother.” That same pity I hated so much coated his tone.
We sat silently together, my chest compressed. Why did I have to be hopelessly in love with the one person who didn’t truly want me?
What was I to her? Temporary. Surely, I was just temporary.
But I’d loved her for a long time. I’d just never told her.
“What are you going to do?”
I blinked and looked over at his concerned expression.
“I don’t even fucking know.” My fingers scraped along the roof of the building as I leaned back on my hands, my legs stretched out in front of me.
“She didn’t tell me. I thought she wanted me. We… we made progress. I know she wanted me,” I reasoned, my voice firmer now. “But I had to drag her back through that shield last night. She was going to leave me, as if I didn’t fucking matter at all.”
He contemplated that for a moment before he responded. “I think she cares about you. It’s evident to me she does. She watches you and smiles so much more around you. Any idiot Alpha can see that. Maybe there’s a reason.” I laughed louder now, more acid in my tone.
But he prodded me again, despite me not believing there was any reason for her to do something so drastic and dangerous. “It’s a stretch, brother, but there may be a reason. You just have to talk to her.”
I turned my head away, my teeth clenching tightly as I caught sight of her walking slowly across the sand and back to the compound, her arms wrapped around her, her head down.
Fucking hell.
Even now, I fought myself to not go to her and hold her. She was the reason Tia was gone. She brought an Omega to the thinning, of all nights. It was her fault, her recklessness that did this.
My chest ached as I rubbed circles in its centre, a pressure I’d had since I’d woken, nothing relieving its ache.