Page 80 of Of Daggers and Deceit

“I’m sorry, Bodhi. Please let me help you.”

But he shook his head, turning away from me. He jutted his chin out and looked up at the sky above us, a frown marring his beautiful face.

I moved forward, trying again, but his words came out stronger this time, harsher.

“Don’t.”

I pulled away, my fingers grasping for nothing as I gulped air into my lungs, tears now falling steadily down my cheeks.

I sat back on my heels, helpless and broken, resenting myself for everything that had gone wrong.

It was all my fault. I wasn’t enough.

“I’ll be fine, just as I always am.” His words were hoarse and wet, the blood from his mouth slowing down as his Alpha healing began to kick in.

I got up and shuffled away a few steps, giving him the space he wanted. My heart hurt so badly, I thought it might burst. He lay there alone, too far from me as I crouched down on the ground like I did as a child, tucking myself into a ball. I didn’t know what else to do other than be near him and watch over him. The ground was freezing.

“Bodhi,” I whispered. Please. I’ve done everything wrong.

He didn’t acknowledge me again. It hurt more than any physical wound I’d ever endured in my life, because I couldn’t turn back time, no matter how much I wanted it.

I’d failed her. She was gone.

Tears fell from my eyes steadily, wetting my suit.

I betrayed him. Even when a few feet separated us now, I knew I’d cleaved a distance between us that was so great, I wasn’t sure it could be repaired.

And what did that mean for me? The realisation hit me as unforgivingly as a bolt of lightning. Everything I’d ever been terrified of was going to come true. I would have nothing and no one, and it was all my fault.

Maybe everyone in this city was right.

I was defective.

BODHI

The wind beat against my sore wings as I flew towards the compound, just as inklings of morning light began to disrupt the night sky. I relished in moments like this, where I could be exactly who I was, allowing my shifted form free for the few times a year our Supreme granted it. I loved the view from up this high, the city seeming so small and distant as I flew high beyond their view, circling the desert expanse, painfully watching the woman I loved sleeping on the sand alone.

The moment I felt myself heal just enough to fly, I’d taken it to get away from her. Pain lanced my chest, and despite it, even knowing she had planned to leave me, I still couldn’t tear my eyes away from her tiny form. I still couldn’t help but look out for her.

My heart clenched as I pulled my wings into my body, allowing myself to free fall, watching as the ground plummeted closer and closer. I held my breath, focusing on the wind that pummelled my body just as aggressively as the sadness that suffocated my lungs as I fell.

I dipped my wings out again, my keen eyes noting the thousands of critters that slid and scurried across the wasteland, finding their food and returning to their homes.

I’d thought my home was with her, but in the aftermath of last night, I wasn’t so confident about what my future looked like anymore. It suddenly seemed just as colourless as my art.

My feet landed gracefully on the roof of the compound despite the speed of my descent, a movement I’d practiced so many times during my sentence amongst the defence.

I plonked myself to the floor with a frustrated exhale.

I’d thought I meant more to her. I’d thought she trusted me.

I’d thought if nothing at all, I was at the very least her friend.

Maybe I’d even read that wrong too, and I was just someone she felt pity for, the kind of pity Tia often looked at me with because I had no memories of my life before I awoke here, no family.

I slammed my hands on the rooftop and fell onto my back as a familiar voice chuckled to the left of me.

“You look like shit,” Hayden said as he seated himself beside me, his skin still dirtied, his suit entirely torn.

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