Page 65 of Of Daggers and Deceit

I didn’t want to tell him that there was no hope for us in the Haven, that I might not even have until tomorrow. Still, I closed my eyes to the soft puffs of his breath against my hair.

I wanted the forever he spoke of, and I was willing to risk so many things to have it. My hand closed tighter around his the deeper I thought, my conviction firming.

It was laying in the dark, listening to Bodhi’s soft snores, that I began to form a plan from the only option I had left.

RILEY

“Riley, we need to get moving.” My fists clenched and unclenched, the emotions whirring inside me violently, barely able to be controlled after what Raya told me. Was Zander lying? Or was the Benefactor?

Now more than ever, the bargain I had just struck would be critical, because evidently, there was so much in the Haven I didn’t know. Power moves were being made, only all of them were behind closed doors. I hated not knowing why moves were being made.

My body shook. Riley as the Rose was nothing but a symbol. It was something even I barely had control of. I didn’t know if my plan to wield leverage would work, but a more peaceful attempt at asserting myself would be far better than any hostile takeover.

But what about tonight? I paced again to the left, furiously dragging my feet along the rocky floor.

Despite everything, I believed there was goodness in Zander. I had seen and experienced it myself. I just needed to dig deeper, prod harder at it, so every citizen in this city could see it. He could be a great leader for all of us, not just the Inner Ring of Omegas. He’d shown me himself. He was just traumatised. It was understandable. War was ruinous and devastating, and nobody it touched ever came out unscathed.

“Riley.” Sly’s voice was more urgent this time. I had been struck stupid by everything tonight, and despite the confidence I had exuded just for Raya, having seen her fear, I was feeling terrified and uncertain. But for her, I would pretend. I would put on the performance of a lifetime, even in front of Zander, to keep her safe and ensure they could never prove it was her.

I pivoted, reaching the end of the ledge and paced back to my original spot. Yes, I could pretend for her, and in the meantime, I would continue planning. The leverage was an absolute necessity. Zander was obsessed with his image, and it would give me the means to regain some sort of control.

Cool fingers slid up my arm, Sly’s soothing voice registering as he stepped into my line of sight. “Riley, I will carry him, but we need shovels. Can you get them for us and meet me back at the base of the cliff, the furthest point away from the tower’s line of sight?”

I blinked up at him, his expression soft and worried. I nodded my agreement and immediately darted to the edge of the cliff face to prepare for my climb back down. This was the most pressing problem. I needed to get myself back on track.

Focus. Or we die.

Rocks crumbled beneath my feet as I followed the narrow path down, leaping from ledge to ledge. I was well-practised with this route, having done it so often throughout the years with Raya when we were younger, pretending we were fighting villains from other worlds. We used our imagination so often because there was little offered in this world for us as children. We used to think it was boring, then scary at the times of the thinning. But now, I wished more than anything for boring and imaginary. Our adult lives were not unlike our heroic battle against the villains, only now, everything was real, and I wasn’t entirely sure who I truly needed to vanquish.

I shook the thought away and leapt to the next ledge, stumbling slightly from a misjudged landing as I quickly threw my hand out to the wall to keep myself upright. My palm landed against a small, jagged point, and I winced but continued, feeling the bite of sand embedding into what was likely a tiny cut. I used the small amount of pain to ground me.

My feet hit the rocky floor the last jump down, and I sucked in a long breath before I took off across the expanse, my legs already feeling sluggish. Muscles I hadn’t used since becoming the Rose awoke to the familiar sensation of shifting sand beneath my feet, but somehow, I felt a small sense of joy and false freedom as the wind and familiar scents and sounds of the desert whipped past. The houses grew closer, my breathing now ragged as I ducked between the tube tunnel and took a left straight to Old John’s house. I knew his garden house at the back would still be the same as it always was, left to rot as a reminder of the Bonded he no longer had but desperately missed.

I ran straight up to the shed that sat against the back of his house and pulled the door open, thankful that none of the homes in this ring had fences to worry about. It’s not like they had anything worth protecting from others. Except for a night like tonight, when I needed two shovels to bury a dead Benefactor. I clenched my fist, and pain bloomed again, re-focusing my mind on the task. Nausea still sat in my gut as I grabbed the two shovels and positioned them in the least awkward position that enabled me to run back the way I had come.

With two long breaths in and out, I took off again, the weight of the shovels burdensome. My body screamed as I powered back the way I came, darting and dodging houses, back through the tunnel, taking a right across the expanse towards the cliffs where Sly had asked me to meet him.

I spied his figure from where I stood, the moonlight casting a dark yet comforting shadow against the wall. Because he was with me. Helping me through this. My arms began to tire from the weight of what I was carrying, but my target grew closer and closer, and relief grew inside me as it neared, the sight of him keeping me going when my body was demanding to stop.

With a final spurt of energy, I skidded to a stop near my destination, throwing the shovels onto the ground as I bent over with my hands on my knees, heaving in lungfuls of air. Sly was near the foot of the sandy cliff face, dragging his feet along the edges of it, finding the place where the ground became soft enough to dig, but not too soft that the sand would fill back in.

Thank Omni for him. He was a true blessing.

I walked across to him as I got my breathing under control and watched as he found the spot he was looking for, reaching his arm out towards me in request as I pushed the shovel forward into his grip.

“What happens here remains between us, between you and me,” he said as he pointed from my chest to his. “We will never discuss this night again.”

I nodded my head in agreement, relief still surging through me as he took the shovel from my aching hand and shoved it into the ground, lifting the sand out and tossing it just to the side. I stepped up beside him, focusing on clawing back my control and emulating confidence, despite my inherent fear for myself, Sly, and Raya.

I needed to use every opportunity to practice until I became it.

Death has called your sister’s name.

The thought alone had me gritting my jaw as I picked up the second shovel with tired hands and plunged it into the ground, digging with only my determination urging me onward.

A Benefactor’s death would get to Zander, and he surely wouldn’t let it go. I was concerned about the outcome of tonight, of who was going to pay the price, but I couldn’t dwell on it. I only needed to survive tonight and move beyond it. I could figure the rest out later.

Together, Sly and I dug in silence. There was no going back for either of us now. We were tied together, whether I liked it or not. And I did like it, though I shouldn’t. I couldn’t.

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