Page 41 of Of Daggers and Deceit

Everything from the architecture to the fashion to cocktails and the gardens was designed to be the embodiment of the enlightened Omega, with soft shapes, textures, and perfumed smells. Most of the buildings within the Inner Ring had rounded edges and flatter roofs. All doors were custom-made arches. Every idea was channelled by Zander himself, direct from Omni, and funded by his parents before the war began.

I liked most of it. It was wonderful to look at, so very perfect. But when I thought of the complex beauty of Raya’s art, with her use of so many shades and colours, I could see how life here could be richer and lived more fully, if only we could give up some of this desire for perfection.

We were granted access through the barricades to walk down the centre of the throng of people registered to receive their shot. I pressed forward with a beaming smile, taking the time to greet those I passed. Connecting with this city’s residents was the part I enjoyed so much, so it was no wonder I thrived in these settings.

At the end of the aisle stood Zander, standing tall and proud in his crimson suit. His lips kicked up into a soft smile the closer to him I walked, raking down my appearance with lust-riddled eyes.

I delicately wrapped my fingers around Zander’s outstretched hand, and he supported me up the stairs of the Family Planning Centre, feeling the eager eyes of Omegas below us. Drawing me in close, he reached up with his pointer finger and pulled my lower lip down.

“You look better wearing red.” His breath was a soft whisper against my skin, his eyes dropping down to the pink of my lips. Hurt flickered through me, but I chose to swallow it down.

“Shall we?” I asked in a light, playful tone, earning his nod of agreement.

He spun me around, and I briefly looked at Sly, whose eyes were narrowed on Zander before he promptly averted his gaze. He’d heard.

We greeted the nursing staff before moving to settle into a room for the injection. Everything was blistering white, with not a single scuff on any surface. In here, I felt cold, despite the air being balmy, like the entire room lacked warmth due to its sterility. Or perhaps it was my shame from Zander’s comment that had caused a shiver to wrack my body.

A mousy-looking, brown-haired nurse with a cute little button nose and shy smile entered the room, pulling my attention towards her as she swabbed an alcohol wipe on my upper arm.

Zander stood by the door with his hands clasped in front of him, staring intently at the nurse as she sat beside me to confirm I was ready.

“Take a deep breath,” she encouraged with her warm, brown eyes.

I took a long breath inward, allowing my lungs to open to their full capacity. The needle jabbed in and out efficiently.

“All done,” she sang, moving to clean the space for the day’s bookings. I blinked a few times, pleased with how quickly she had completed the injection.

“Thank you. That was the easiest needle I have ever had!” I complimented her with absolute sincerity, hopping up off the chair and moving towards Zander.

He nodded towards Sly. “Take her home. I have a speech to give and a small celebratory lunch with the other Benefactors.” Leaning forward, he caressed my face in adoration and lightly pecked my cheek.

“Sorry, my Rose, but duty calls. I will make it up to you later,” he promised, though I knew it was a lie.

“Of course,” I responded with a forced smile. My response was as sterile as the plain white walls that decorated the centre.

He promptly smoothed his styled, black hair down and whirled from the room, leaving behind a whiff of his sugary sweet perfume. I used to adore it, crave it, even, but now, it just left me feeling bitter.

I hung back a moment until I heard the cheers from the waiting Omegas at the front, likely in response to another of Zander’s inspiring speeches. I’d done everything he asked, and then he just left me.

I hovered until the clapping faded, choosing then to march out towards the back exit, throw the door open, and not bother to look back.

I was tired, so very tired, of simply being a symbol.

My mum had always told me beauty could be a powerful tool, that it could make even the best of them fall to their knees. It was something to wield.

But I wanted to be more.

I wanted to be valued for my mind, my heart, my spirit, and imbue it into everything I did. There were so many things I wanted to change. A part of me cared for Zander. I knew I did. But truly, was this love?

He didn’t see me, not all of me, anyway; only the parts he so carefully curated. Only the parts he really wanted. He was the mastermind behind the Rose, the purest Omega in all the realm.

In this moment, I had never hated her more. She wasn’t me and even then, she still wasn’t enough. She was a manufactured identity born within the Haven to drive home the values that underpinned this lonely world.

I clenched and unclenched my fists rhythmically as I walked.

Zander held far too many secrets and becoming everything he wanted had given me little.

I looked around as I walked home at all the things that hadn’t changed. At all the progress I hadn’t made. It was coming along far too slowly. It was exhausting. I needed to be better, more creative to uncover his secrets.

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