Page 33 of Of Daggers and Deceit

I was humbled in this moment, though, because whatever fear and anxiety I had felt over the past few days, Bodhi had felt many times over throughout these years, and still, he’d survived.

Still, he’d come back to us.

His fingers dragged my bottom lip down, making me aware of how easily that small boundary I’d placed between us had been breached. But right now, I couldn’t care. I wouldn’t care, not when tomorrow was no longer guaranteed.

His warm body pressed closer, his fingers now sliding past my cheek and around to the back of my hair as he tipped my head up, his scent now engulfing me. I felt him lean in towards me, sheltering me with his reassuring touch as my lips fell apart and his breath fluttered against my lips. Everything about him was intoxicating.

“Are you going to resist me, Raya?” he murmured. No. Yes.

I didn’t know what I was doing, only that I was going with what felt right. Maybe tomorrow, if I survived and I experienced the thinning as part of the defence, my whole worldview would change.

He moved fractionally closer, only a hair’s width of distance between us now, his breath now hot and heavy, warming me against the frigid elements. I stilled, waiting, greedily inhaling his calming scent to steady the chaotic thump of my heart.

Then, his lips just brushed against mine, tasting me ever so briefly, and my world seemed to explode in a brilliant flurry of colour for a single moment before the sound of a door opening to the right of us drew my attention. The echo of footsteps prompted me to turn my head away towards the emerging crowd of Alphas, recognising how entirely inappropriate it was for us to be seen like this.

I stepped away, putting distance between us.

For a second, I caught Bodhi’s hurt expression before he shielded it away and turned to address the team. It seemed he didn’t care that we would be caught. Warmth spread through my chest when I positioned myself in amongst the group.

A sombre energy hung in the air among our silent team. I looked around at the Alphas surrounding me, darting across the faces younger and older. Everywhere I looked, I saw the same emotion mirrored on each of their faces.

Fear.

“Before we move to take our position on the field, everyone needs to complete a last-minute check of their weapons to ensure they are functional.” Bodhi embodied the confidence this team needed when he spoke.

Rustling and clanging followed briefly before it ceased again, everyone satisfied with their search. I’d already checked my weapons hundreds of times over today, needing a distraction. My fingers twitched at my sides with those same nerves as the sky rapidly darkened around us and the insects began their nightly song.

“Cover your teammates. If you get injured, remove yourself immediately, or else you will hinder the team. Wield everything you have in your arsenal and do not hesitate. Because they don’t.”

I inhaled and exhaled, short and sharp.

“We make one sacrifice to defend the many.”

My chest clenched.

“And even if we are unacknowledged in the event of a defeat, in the event of a death, you are a hero, and you will be honoured by your comrades. The Outer Ring never forgets.”

The air was so tense, so suffocating that it was like death was already here, waiting. Everyone else seemed to be aware of the same thing as they moved out onto the field at Bodhi’s signal, and together, we each found our places.

I hated the position that was chosen for me, a stark reminder of my failure like a slap to the face as I portaled to crouch in that same haunting crevice in the cliff face. Bodhi had asked me before allocating my position. He reasoned I knew these cliffs like the back of my hand because I visited so frequently, and with my gift, I could defend them the best.

I think he secretly placed me here because he thought I would stay out of the fighting for tonight. I’d heard the Dominants rarely bothered to venture to this section, usually choosing to sweep through the Haven by force along the visible ground.

Bodhi didn’t know that I needed to save the Omega to achieve the goals I had for my family: protection that would ultimately give us more freedom.

I rolled my shoulders and shook out my legs to dispel the buzzing energy inside me as I repeated my mantra over and over in my head.

Save an Omega.

Save an Omega.

Save an Omega.

I focused on the erratic energy inside me with my eyes closed, feeling its volatility, coaxing it into my grip so I could use it towards bolstering my power. In order to be precise, I needed to focus on control.

Inhale for four seconds.

Exhale for four.

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