Page 44 of Tame the Beast

Kevini’mnotNerds: The little shit that got my daughter pregnant and left her.

Willoflove: The father of the baby is here?

Kevini’mnotNerds: Sure is! In case you missed him, he’s the one you call your son.

Ninasunshine: Great. Now you made her cry again after I just spent an hour on meditating with her.

Toughtolove: Don’t take that tone with him.

Kevini’mnotNerds: So? Where is he?

Ninasunshine: Kevin, Matteo is not the father of Zoe’s baby.

Willoflove: He’s not the father *crying emoji, wailing emoji*

Kevini’mnotNerds: But he said…and he looked…

CookieJ: Like they were his?

Kevini’mnotNerds: Yeah.

CookieJ: They will be.

15

Never Have I Ever

Matteo: Never have I ever wanted to be someone I’m not.

Until today…

16

Zoe

“You are the only person who can make me feel like I’m dreaming and awake at the same time.” – Unknown

As soon as the door to my hospital room closed with Matteo on the other side of it, seemingly calm and peaceful Mellie started crying and still hasn’t stopped three weeks later.

And not just her.

I have been an emotional mess from that same moment too. But I blame the hormones and Mellie’s fussiness and not the fact that I miss a guy I have no business missing.

“Shh, Mel baby, what’s wrong? I don’t know what else to do!” I break out in another fit of sobs because I’ve tried it all and she won’t stop. I rock her, walk around with her, breastfeed her—I tried the bottle too—and bought all possible pacifiers for her to take but she refuses them all.

Joy thought it could be her tummy and we tried all the possible remedies for that too and nothing…nothing works. Her pediatrician says it’s normal even though I did notice the crease in her forehead when she was examining Mellie.

The only time she stops is when she falls asleep on my breast and then I don’t dare to breathe too much to not wake her. I’m exhausted and sleep-deprived and even though I’ve expected it all, I did not imagine it would be like this.

“My God, Mel, you are scaring the ducks out of me,” Joy says as she walks into our home. She is pregnant herself, with twins, and seeing how difficult I have it with one is not helping her own anxiety.

She is the best friend I could ask for, though. Joy came in as soon as Matteo left, saw us both bawling our eyes of, cursed the local bar and men in this town and stayed with us till now. I keep sending her home, to her husband, but she refuses to leave me alone.

“Joy, I don’t know what to do anymore,” I confess, and Joy must see the last shred of desperation in my eyes because my stoic friend softens and sighs with compassion.

“If anyone can do it, it’s you Zoe Holsted. This is just a phase. It will pass, you’ll see.”

“Do you even believe the crap you are trying to sell me yourself?”

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