Page 67 of The System

“Sexy, again?” Ruthie guessed.

“Yes,” Kieran said.

“And?”

“And… yeah, she’s beautiful. She’s smart – brilliant, even – and she can keep up with me. That’s the part I think I like the most.”

“So, she’s got some kind of inexplicable confidence, then? Yeah, she’s probably good in bed, and she knows it. You should pursue this.”

“Ruthie!” Kieran laughed.

“What? Kieran, you married the first and only guy you’ve ever been with because he gave you the time of day when so many others didn’t, but you’re not in love with him anymore. You’re in your mid-thirties, you’re successful, and yeah, you’re going through it right now because of this whole sister’s case, but you deserve to find something real and with someone who’s actually your match. If that’s this Carina, great. And if it’s not her, at least you’d know, and you might get some really great, hot sex out of it before it ends. If you don’t want to try now, I get it. It is complicated. I’m not naïve. Just maybe get through this whole Marin debacle, see if there’s something worth pursuing with Carina then, and get laid in the meantime.”

“The case could go on for years. Marin’s trial could be next year, and then, there are appeals if she’s convicted.”

“You really do like her, huh?” Ruthie said seriously this time, and there was no more noise coming from her side of the call, indicating that she was probably back in her car.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you just said years, Kieran. Meaning, you’ve actually thought about how long you’d have to wait for things to get uncomplicated. That means something.”

“I don’t even know her that well. There’s no point in me talking about this.”

“You pictured it, though, didn’t you? After she told you how she felt, you said you thought about it. What did you think about? Just the possibility of sleeping with her?”

“What? No,” Kieran answered quickly.

“You’ll see her today?”

“I guess. She’ll be presenting her case. I’ll be in the peanut gallery, watching and hoping she fails because this could harm Marin, but also not because I like her, so I want her to be successful. It’s very confusing.”

“Talk to her. Just tell her that you need to think about it.”

“But I don’t. It can’t happen.”

“Things change all the time, Kieran. Something might happen with this case that makes it possible. If I were her, I’d want to know that you were also a possibility should that become the situation.”

Ruthie hadn’t been very helpful, in Kieran’s opinion, because she’d told her that it was okay to acknowledge her attraction to Carina, and Kieran had needed her to tell her that it was a horrible idea and that she should never pursue it and stay away from the woman completely.

Now, Kieran was sitting on a wooden bench that lined the back wall of the hallway of the courthouse because they hadn’t been let into the courtroom for the start of the hearing yet, and Carina was standing by the elevator, talking to someone whom Kieran didn’t recognize, and wearing a pencil-skirt business suit in emerald-green. It made her stand out from the crowd of people who mostly wore grays and blacks, but she would’ve stood out wearing anything; Carina was just that beautiful.

“Hey.”

Kieran looked up to find Carina suddenly standing right in front of her. She must have zoned out or something, and now, she was caught off guard and didn’t know what to say. Her eyes went wide in shock that she’d managed to miss the woman walking up to her, which Carina noticed, given her expression.

“Okay. I’ll start. Good morning, Kieran. I really don’t want things to be awkward between us since I stopped by your apartment the other night and told you that I was attracted to you. If you want to just be new sort-of-weird friends with me, I can do that, and we can just forget about what happened the other night.”

“I don’t want to forget about it,” Kieran said softly.

“You don’t?” Carina asked before she shifted her bag to her other hand and sat down next to Kieran. “I didn’t really mess this up?”

“I like that you told me. It means that you feel like you can trust me with telling me things like that.”

“Things like I’m attracted to you and want to go out with you?” Carina smiled.

“Yeah, that.” Kieran laughed a little. “It’s fine, okay? It doesn’t have to be awkward between us.”

“No?”

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