Page 66 of The System

“First, describe the smirk.”

“What?”

“Just go with it.”

Kieran thought for a second, smiled, and said, “Sexy.”

“Shit, yeah, it was!” Ruthie laughed. “Sexy, smirking Carina. You want her.”

“The past two nights, I’ve been thinking about it, and I know I can’t.”

“Hold on. What do you think the smirk was about? Go back to that.”

“The same thing you caught me doing before. I had reasons for why we couldn’t see if there was something between us, and neither of my reasons – the divorce thing or the fact that she’s prosecuting Marin – referenced my sexuality.”

“Oh, shit. She caught you, didn’t she?” Ruthie laughed again.

“Yeah, I think she did. She does that, though, and it’s actually really…” Kieran swallowed.

“Sexy. It’s sexy, isn’t it? That she catches that stuff.”

“Yes.” Kieran laughed. “And I don’t know what to do with that because I can’t like her.”

“Because of the woman thing?”

“Because she’s–”

“Okay. Hold on. Before you say that it’s because of Marin, just stop and think for a second. Had you met Carina at a bar or online or at some grocery store where you were buying bananas, and she made some penis joke and made you laugh, would you still be into her?”

“Penis joke? Really?”

“Well, it happens,” Ruthie replied. “How do you think I met Gavin?”

“Oh, God. I forgot all about Gavin,” Kieran said, laughing a little. “Who made the penis joke, exactly?”

“Me; because he was just so hot, and I got nervous. The sex was amazing, though.”

“God, what’s that like?” Kieran said as she stood back up and stared down at the business suit she’d chosen for court.

“What’s what like? Sex with Gavin?”

“Just hot sex in general.”

“Come on… You and Diego never had hot sex? Not even once?”

“Sex that I might have thought was hot back when I was young, but not in a very, very long time. And, you know, hindsight is twenty-twenty, so I’m not sure that it was even all that hot, now that I think about it. Once in the shower, it was pretty good. Well, it started that way. He jumped in after me, and I thought we’d start in there and take it to the bedroom, but he finished in there, and I didn’t.”

“You need to get laid, girl, and by someone who knows what they’re doing. Do you think Carina knows what she’s doing?”

“How would I even know that?”

“How does she seem when you’re with her?”

“Seem? I don’t know. Normal?”

“Well, if she were just normal, you wouldn’t suddenly be having first-time feelings for a woman when you never have before.”

“She’s got this kind of confidence thing going for her. It’s not arrogance, but confidence, and it makes her–”

---