Page 65 of Broken Wolf

“I don’t know if I can since I’m a male,” he admitted.

I met his piercing amber eyes, the same ones Alena had. “I’m not lying. She immediately said she would call you and one of her sisters. That you were prickly and blunt, but you were one of the smartest people she knew and you could fix the situation I’m in without everything collapsing. That she knew you could and trusted you would never try to take it all from me.

“Because that’s the biggest problem with asking for real help to be here all of the time. Who do I turn to that won’t just take it all or steal it or even some of it or…” I sighed and looked away, focused on my food. “Even the help I have is great, but they’re split. Melicent is fantastic, but she’s only for now and also building her name for her future. Pushing for more.

“Hestia. Linus. Felix. They all have their priorities first. I get that. I applaud it. Noah has his coven, and now the council wants more from him. Alena and Laila want more to help more. Bijan wants more. Condori wants more. The shifter council wants more. Work wants more. The—”

“And you need it all to slow down,” he muttered, still staring at me. “It’s all too fast for you all of the time. Even with how quick you are on your feet for work, these are people’s lives who rely on you to keep them safe and it’s all too big.”

“Yes. It always has been, but everyone always assures me we have it, we can do this. Now after this last hit with my birth mother and my wolf not acting as she should and the huge expansion I just took on for us—we needed it though—people are starting to doubt that we have it all. While others are still pushing to expand.”

He choked on his next bite, thumping himself in the chest and taking a few moments to get his body to settle. “You mean my sister.”

I sighed and took too big of a bite of my own food. “Yes. I love her dearly, but she can be—she’s queen of the wolves and people—she’s got her shit together. Was raised for this, and—I wasn’t. I don’t have my shit together. I just bought helicopters and a bigger plane and currently can’t handle flying after my abduction and issues. Do you know the doubt I struggle with just on that?”

“Apparently, a lot,” he muttered, not hiding his shock well of what he was sensing off of me.

“Yeah, well, everyone who is so much older and has been running things for centuries and has everything in place for so long and adds something here and there needs to stop throwing shit at me at thirty,” I bitched. “Now the vampire council has another mess, and I don’t know about it much, but they just want Noah to take in a hundred new vampires.

“At least a hundred. And he’s old, but he’s been a coven leader less than a year. And it’s all under me. That sounds smart like never. And I want to bring in more prey to keep them safe, and I know that’s stupid and dangerous. But then we have more jobs available than people. So we need more, but more means more problems and protection, and—I’m just—everything could—”

“Collapse,” he muttered, nodding when I did. We ate in silence for several minutes, lost in our own thoughts and staring out into the night. “What do you want to happen? Not what you think Mother would want or what you’re expected to do. You’re smart enough to worry and smart enough to get this far. What is your gut telling you to do?”

That answer was easy, and I knew exactly where I wanted to start, which seemed to surprise him. “When I became a wolf and was promoted to division chief of the supe office, I basically audited it all. The people. Their files, backgrounds, the way they worked, and their training. The way they handled files and cases. All of it.

“I tore into all of the processes and made them learn the normal FBI way but also found the middle ground of what worked for us as supes but kept the ideals, professionalism, and message of the FBI. That’s what I want. I want a full and in-depth audit. We can all do better, and things can be missed.

“I want an outsider’s opinion that I can trust and has a reason to not want me to fail, but who also won’t set me up to take it over. Someone who also won’t worry about pissing me off by saying I’ve fucked something up and could do better but also has the knowledge to see the problems, and all the assistants we keep adding don’t have that experience.”

“I assume you would want this of all the packs?” he hedged.

“Yeah, and if you can’t handle working with Melicent, then I understand given Eva explained a bit of your past, but if you’re worried about her—don’t be.” I shrugged when he gave me a curious look. “She works for me, and she’ll fucking do what I tell her to or I’ll kick her ass again.”

He dropped his hot dog on the ground in shock.

“Plus, she’s grown up a lot from what even I’ve seen,” I admitted. “She’s realized how much she was a pampered princess, and—she’s—Alena and Zeno are really proud of how she’s grown up. She’s taken on a lot of her own and really stepped up. She’s doing an awesome job, truly.”

“But?”

That was fair. “But she assumes sometimes that there’s the safety net like she’s used to, and there’s not here. She would swoop in and destroy anyone who tried to hurt me and break herself to help me fix the issue—”

“But they’re all too flippant that there has never been a problem or someone overthrown and there will never be,” he drawled. “Yes, I’ve noticed.” He was quiet again when I nodded. “Anything else?”

“Eva said she thought you’d be the right person to take over New York when Melicent was ready to move on and either take over for Alena or get into the training for real as her right hand,” I confessed, snickering when he almost dropped his food again. “Yeah, they do a really good job of just plotting for everyone. It’s nice to have faith in us but…”

He snorted. Loudly. “It’s new for me, so forgive me for trying to believe you’re not completely full of shit.”

“I’m not. Eva said it was all her fault, but she loves you and has a lot of faith in you. The decision’s yours, and I’m not saying that to try and pressure you or trap you into helping me when I need it. I just… She’s got enough shit in her life because of me. I just want people to not hurt so much.”

I gave him a look that clearly his family was an issue for him and one that was obvious.

We finished eating and then I showed him the pack lands where we went for a run. He still didn’t say anything, and then I got the call that David was found and a few drinks into his night.

So back to work. Always back to work.

18

“I’ve never seen you here before, Sera,” David greeted, looking me over like his next lay.

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