Page 59 of Broken Wolf

“Seraphine, tell me what has happened,” she begged. “You are all over the place, and I cannot even keep up with your racing emotions and desires.

“Everyone wants more of me. Now the council wants me to clean up another mess,” I said, hearing the whine—but also tears—in my voice. “I love Mom and Laila, but they are always adding more, Grandma. I’m thirty. I’m super young for you guys, but I’ve barely been Alpha—it’s not even five years. I need less. Not more. Always more. I’m going to break. I feel—”

“That is why I am here.”

“I don’t think you’re enough,” I snapped, sitting up when she flinched. I sighed and apologized. “I said that wrong. I don’t think you’re the answer for all of it.” I hurried to explain about how I kept adding assistants and more managers and help which was smart but also like… It seemed like bandages over the wounds instead of getting the big pictures managed better.

Then I told her what the judge had even suggested.

“We can get you ample help if you tell us what you need,” she hedged.

I sighed, scrubbing my hand over my head. “Alena has you and others—I don’t want anyone taking over, but she’s super old and seasoned, but she still has elders, advisors, there. Involved. Their hands in things. We’ve never ever had a problem with Topher because we immediately went for super adult and the ultimate nanny.

“What I’m saying is instead of bringing in more help under me, I think it’s time to bring in more help above me. Not oversight or someone to become Alpha or my board of directors… Maybe that in a way? No, but like advisors. Someone who can get into the day-to-day more. We keep joking that I need like ten of me, but I really fucking do.

“I don’t feel comfortable making the level of decisions I do, Eva. All of the time. I wing it. Yes, I call Mom and you, but—she sent me help and the sirens help, but they like the club, and they don’t want to be all involved in the pack. And I get it, we didn’t want to risk anyone taking over or looking like they puppet me. But I think I need a few aunts or uncles to seriously help me.”

I sort of shrugged like I didn’t know what else to say.

“I will call my youngest and one of my sisters,” she said after a moment. She sighed when I raised an eyebrow at that. “Both are a bit prickly and don’t get along with most of the family or want to be—my youngest is actually who I think should take over for Melicent when the time comes, but they are like oil and water. They are close in age and—I do not think the relationship—”

“Who was the problem?” I asked bluntly.

“They both were,” she replied honestly, nodding as she leaned back a little and moved her foot to the sofa, hugging her knee. “Part of it was my fault. I was so focused on helping Alena, and with so much shifting in the world, keeping us safe, that he was neglected. Melicent was always coddled as the next queen of the wolves, and she—she was a bully when she was younger, acted out.

“He was harsh in return and very unforgiving. But he is bright. My youngest is incredibly smart. He is adept at many things and—he sold another company a few years ago and is living well from that, enjoying it. He could be of vast help to you. Asking him for help might be the only way he ever…”

I nodded, reading between the lines. Honestly, he sounded a bit like the wolf version of Jimmy Havers but maybe with some validity for the way he turned out instead of Jimmy just being a dick.

“My sister is a bit of the same. She would never want to take over Alpha, but the rest—not take over, but it would all interest her. She is—I love my sisters—all of my siblings, but they are pains in the ass. I know I was the one who received all of the attention and became the strongest as the eldest, and—nothing is easy, but she is an asset, and you are correct that you need more.”

I flinched at the almost chastising in her voice, practically attacking her in a hug. “You are amazing. You and Mom are more than I could ever have imagined in—I love you both so much. I kept asking—Melicent and I asked for you guys to back off and let us do our own thing. This is a bit of a one-eighty, but it’s really not. I just realized how I need help.

“I need more advice and someone here. I wish I could have you here all of the time, but your life isn’t here. And Dain isn’t young. He’s—he’s the reason we haven’t failed. Carter too. It’s just we need help with the big picture, not pulled into fourteen directions. I need the safety net and…” I shrugged. I wasn’t sure how else to put it.

Then I realized what else I needed.

Answers.

I went and got my DCFS file from the safe, comparing it to what the attorney had given me.

“What is this, Seraphine?” Eva asked gently.

“Pandora’s Box,” I chuckled darkly. I sighed and told her the real answer. “One of the homes I was placed at seems to be involved in this new case.”

She swore under her breath which was something Eva never did. “That is the last thing you need.”

I sighed again and double checked the social security number to be certain. “Actually, she was a good person and apologized when it didn’t work out. Maybe…” I shook my head. I wasn’t going to say this could help me after Stacey because I wasn’t sure anything could.

But Marie Butler had tried really hard to hold out her hand to me when I’d been an angry kid fucked over by too many. If she was in trouble now, I would find her and help her.

I owed her at least that.

I got people on it, making it clear I needed her found. I wanted to do it the legit way, but that could draw attention and raise eyebrows. I did go speak with a few watch commanders of CPD where she used to live and work for boots on the ground. I made it clear that we couldn’t put out an APB or anything in the system as it could alert the wrong people.

But I needed her found quietly to hopefully shut down something bad. They gave me their word that they’d have a few cars check into it and help with my canvassers.

It took a few days, but then luck was on our side and she happened to go to the church she used to before she got married. I had remembered her mentioning it once when I’d stayed with her and listed as possible places she’d be seen at. CPD just happened to be canvasing for her at the same time she showed up. She was terrified, but they assured her that she wasn’t in trouble and was safe.

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