Page 40 of Hijack the Seas: Seismic

“Meaning that the whole magical world knows you’re bonking—”

“Bonking?” I said worriedly.

“Doing the horizontal mambo,” Alphonse clarified. “Riding the bedroom rodeo, bow-chick-a-wow-wow—”

“We know what it means!” Pritkin said.

“The whole world?” I asked. Because who the Pythia was dating was considered a matter of political importance since that person could supposedly influence her. I didn’t intend to live my whole life undercover, skulking around like my predecessor did, but I wasn’t ready to make a big announcement yet, either.

Alphonse shrugged. “Some people think you dumped Mircea and took up with this guy,” he hiked a thumb. “Or else all three of you are getting jiggy with it on the regular because you can’t make up your mind—”

“We are not!”

Alphonse hiked an eyebrow.

“Not on the regular. . .”

He hiked two.

“What is your damned point?” Pritkin snarled.

“I have no idea anymore . . . oh, wait. Yeah, my point was that you two are an item, and Cassie is loyal to those she loves. So, yeah, Tony knew you were coming. Probably his masters on the other side told him you might try for the army, even before the court here figured it out. And,” he added, before Pritkin could interrupt. “These assholes knew weeks ago. You were spotted heading this way, and there was only one reason why you’d come back, ‘specially now. That’s why they could lay all those traps for you, to cut you off at the pass.”

“And how do you know that?” Pritkin demanded.

Alphonse tapped his ear. “Vampire hearing. They talk; I listen. But Tony . . .” he shook his head. “He’s smarter than that. He knew you’d expect it on the road; you know how many scouts they got. So, he laid his plans and waited for you to fall into them like an oversized spider.”

“You’re giving him a good deal of credit,” Pritkin said skeptically.

Alphonse and I exchanged a look. “Everybody always underestimates him,” Alphonse said. “He looks like a joke, like a fat Gomez Addams, and like somebody tryin’ to be bad who ain’t all that bad. But he had his own court for hundreds of years. You know the only people who can usually do that? First and second-level masters, which he ain’t.

“He’s third, and barely that, to the point that he don’t like being out in direct sunlight. Which makes him fodder, even with Mircea backing him up, which he usually don’t. You go out on your own, it’s expected that you can handle yourself and your court. Your master ain’t going to come riding to the rescue all the time, or any time, least not that you can count on. Tony shoulda been meat.”

“But he wasn’t,” Pritkin said, looking like he was listening for the first time.

“No. And it wasn’t about power, ‘cause it ain’t for most of us.” Alphonse grabbed the bottle from me and took a swig, and his eyes widened slightly. “What the hell is this?”

“Merlik. The merfolk make it from giant kelp and neon blue algae.”

“Why don’t that surprise me?” Alphonse looked at it some more, shrugged, and took another drink. “Anyway, like I was saying,” he wheezed. “You guys have been hanging out with the big boys—the ones with power to burn who can afford to be stupid sometimes and make mistakes. We don’t get that luxury. The losers farther down the scale have to make it by our wits or our fangs, or a little bit of both.”

“And Tony did.”

“Yeah. I was the fangs; he was the wits. So, he knew she was comin’ ‘cause you were comin’, and she wasn’t gonna leave you hanging out to dry. He knows her better than that.

“So, he made plans. And since he ain’t the type to trust anybody, he’s likely here to oversee those plans. You got a bigger problem than the other heirs.”

“Tell her that,” Pritkin said, and they both looked at me.

Like that didn’t make me even more determined to stay!

Alphonse was right about one thing: people underestimated Tony all the time. It was one reason I hadn’t minded the looks I received when I first became Pythia. They had ranged from “Poor thing, wonder how long she’ll last” to “You have got to be kidding me.” Nobody thought I could do this job, and that included me half the time.

But I hadn’t argued with them because I’d learned from the best. Having people underestimate me was a bigger shield than anything magic could create. They didn’t target me when they thought I was going to die on my own, just any minute now.

The same attitude had served Tony well for centuries, leaving him to work his nasty little plans in the shadows while everyone else thought he was a lightweight. And now he was on the other side in this war, and his buddies didn’t want the Alorestri forces under Pritkin’s control. So, Alphonse was likely correct; Tony or people loyal to him were here, which made my leaving utterly useless.

It would just switch the focus from me to the only guy left standing, and that wasn’t happening!

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