Page 49 of Endless Southern Love

“Can I get you something to drink? I have wine, sweet tea, lemonade, or water.”

“What are you having?”

“Wine.”

“That works for me.” He smiles. I smile back and make my way into the kitchen.

Wade follows and puts my rose in the same vase I put the one from the morning and sets my keys down on my table. The smile forms before I can stop it. He remembered. “I meant to thank you earlier for fixing the flat and bringing my car to me. It was a nice surprise this morning.”

“Did you honestly think I wouldn’t?”

I hand him his glass and pick up mine. “You had no reason to.”

Wade chuckles. “You’re reason enough, Lemon.”

His words . . . they make my knees weak. I take a hearty drink to squash my nerves. He watches me for a minute before taking his own sip, and then walks toward the living room. I follow, watching him. Absorbing him.

“How’s the bump on Goldie’s head?” I ask, changing the subject. Wade turns away from my faux fireplace, where there are various pictures of me, my parents, Leslie.

“She’s fine,” he tells me. “There isn’t even a bump.”

“Little kids,” I start and pause. “They exaggerate sometimes. It’s important to always believe them though. Make sure they’re seen and understood.”

Wade chuckles. “Don’t get me wrong, Goldie can be dramatic at times. She is, after all, seven. But for the most part, she’s honest when something hurts or bothers her.”

“That’s good to know.”

I sit down in one of the corners of my three-seat sofa, and pull my leg under me. I’m trying to act as casually as possible, but it’s hard. I feel like I need to scream, dance around, or pounce on him. None of those options seem practical though and the anxiety or anxiousness I feel is all too consuming.

When Wade sits, I tell myself to relax. We’ve been this close and definitely closer many times over, and I’m not even counting last night. I take another sip, needing the liquid courage to relax.

“Do you want to talk about last night?”

“Nope,” I say, leaning forward to set my glass on my coffee table. “Sometimes things happen.

“Yes, but you’ve been hell-bent on ignoring me, so you’ll have to excuse me if my mind is running rampant with thoughts.”

“Can we chalk it up to a moment of weakness?”

Wade looks at me, truly looks into my eyes. They’re searching for the truth and I’m afraid if he looks to deeply, he might find it.

“No,” he finally says without breaking eye contact. “You’re beholden to the notion that I’ve done something wrong. And yet, when I come across you stranded on the side of the road, you throw caution to the wind and . . .” He pauses and shakes his head.

Is he searching for the right term to use? I’m not even sure I know the proper way to describe what I did. Yes, we had sex. I initiated it without preempt from him. It was me who kissed him, who straddled him, who unbuttoned his jeans. Right then, I didn’t care because after going from missing him for so many years, to being kissed by him again, my desire for him became too much to control.

I reach for my wine and take another sip, and then sit back and rest my arm on the back cushion between us. I’m proud of what I did and hold my head high when I look at him. “What happened last night, happened for a reason.” I hold my hand up before he asks. “What the reason is, I don’t know. What I do know is I’m tired of fighting what I feel for you.”

“What changed?”

“You,” I tell him. “Seeing you every day . . . I don’t know, it’s like Goldie needed to be here to show me what I’m missing.”

Wade links his fingers with mine. “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t like my daughter, Lemon. I would never put her in that situation. Today, what I saw in your office leads me to believe what you told me, how you’re jealous of her, isn’t true.”

I glance away and fight an errant wave of emotions. I’m so mad at myself for being jealous of a little girl. It’s not fair to her. She’s the only innocent party in all of this drama.

“Not my proudest moment, Wade. I’ve never claimed to be perfect.”

“I’m not expecting you to be or even asking that of you. I feel like we could be on the path to something, and I want to explore this. But I can’t if you can’t accept my daughter.”

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