Page 16 of Slap Shots & Sweethearts

We're silent, him lost in thought, me lost to my nerves, and drinking more of my Diet Coke. I'm going to have to visit the lady's room at this rate.

He lets out a chuckle so soft I almost didn't catch it thanks to the music and chatter around the pub.

I look at him, "What?"

He lifts a hand to point across the pub to where Lou is sitting across from Maria in another booth. Maria's arms are crossed and she glares at him as if he said something outrageous. Like gluten-free tastes the same as the real thing.

"Who do you think is going to win that standoff?" I ask.

"Maria, easy."

"You don't have any faith in Lou? That's your teammate."

One eyebrow rises in question. "And?"

"Where's your team loyalty?"

He just levels me with a stare.

"Okay but shouldn't it be all bros with you guys? You've been friends for years."

"He's your brother. Shouldn't you have some family loyalty?"

"My brother has spent the better part of my life trying to be in control of it."

"Why do you let him?"

I grimace. "Let is a strong word."

"Then tell me."

"I don't know who I am anymore," I say.

He frowns, and my hand itches to smooth the scar on his forehead that's become more pronounced.

"How can you not know?" He asks me. "You're smart, and kind. Otherwise, you wouldn't have set up the sponsorship with that youth hockey team."

"But that’s hockey. My life revolves around it. Who am I without hockey? I once thought I'd be on Jeopardy, but that was probably too much time at Grandma's while Lou had hockey practice."

He leans forward, putting his arms on the table. He's a big guy, but it's his presence that is making me feel safe. He owns his body and energy in a way that makes space for me to own mine too. He's comfortable being him, and doesn’t need me to tone down anything about myself. Unlike some of the other men I’ve talked to tonight that make me feel like I’m one comment away from wanting to go home and burn this suit.

"My dad gave me some advice when I decided to go pro. He told me it's not what you do, it's how you do it. It's not that I play hockey, it's how I play it. Do I play dirty; do I make clean plays? Or do I fight at the drop of the puck? PR is what you do now, but that isn't why you go to Maria's bakery or make sure Penelope's got her favorite snacks for a game. Hockey isn't why you shared your notes with me in English. You can go anywhere, but that wouldn't change the sparkle that's Hannah."

His words are a balm for a wound I've only just discovered, and it has me looking away so he doesn't see me blink away the emotion I feel.

"So I don't need to brush up on my trivia?" I tease, trying to shake away the seriousness.

He points to a sign in one of the windows. "Maybe start with Trivia night."

I look at the sign advertising Tuesday Trivia, and just as I start to warm up to the idea I see a detail that kills it. I need a partner to participate.

The bell rings before either of us can say more.

Matt slowly gets to his feet and the position causes him to tower over me. I feel... not small, but dainty for once in my life, as he picks up my hand from where I have it set on the table. He starts to lift it up towards him, and goosebumps are rapidly climbing my arm.

Is he...?

Could he be...?

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