Page 36 of Playoffs & Promises

"Guilty." I say. "Plus I want to see the new book club room."

"I'm going to miss not sitting between the rows of shelves."

"Me too."

Charlotte excuses herself to wash her hands thoroughly, the little wipe insufficient for all the butter she used. I can't help but pull up my phone and look at a picture I'd secretly snapped at the party. Lou's talking with a guy on his team, relaxed and laughing over something. The cut of the suit looks great on him, but the truth is he looks just as good in the shirt and shorts I've seen him wear to take the trash out.

When we arrive at the bookstore, I immediately spot a familiar Jeep in the parking lot. My heart skips a beat, and I convince myself that it's nothing. Probably Hannah borrowing it while she's in town. Although he has made a few references to reading books lately, so maybe he's picking up something new to read, and just dropped his sister off at The Book Garden. I grab my plate of cookies from the back seat of Charlotte's car and follow her inside.

But as I browse the shelves, I hear his voice, unmistakable as he greets Charlotte just one aisle over.

My heart skips faster, even as a feeling in my stomach sinks.

"Tell me, Lou," Charlotte says, her tone has a playful edge to it as she asks, "What brings you here?"

"Books," Lou says.

"Really?" Her voice turns sharper. "What would you say to a story about a hockey player duping a baker with a heart of gold?" Charlotte asks.

"What kind of duping?" He sounds calm, almost amused.

"You tell me."

"You're the one reading the book."

I hear Charlotte's huff of impatience. "Did you join book club just to get lemon bars?"

There's silence. He doesn't deny it, and it hits me like a punch to the gut.

I can't listen to anything else they'll say. I leave my aisle, almost running into Lou as he's walking away from Charlotte too.

His eyes go big as soon as he sees me. "Maria."

I hold up my hand to silence him, my familiar armor of anger falling into place.

Sofie chooses this moment to walk through the shelves and spots us. "I see you've met one of our newest members," she says cheerfully.

I turn my back on him and abruptly walk away. I'm feeling too raw to hear whatever his reasons are. Charlotte catches up to me and we find seats near Lia in the corner of the new book club room Sofie has built.

The room still has shelves, but they only run along one wall. A table is set up near the door and is filled with the cookies I brought, as well as treats from the cafe. Including some of the book brownies Sofie had specially contracted with me for the exclusive sale in her store. The water cooler serves both hot and cold water, and there are packets of tea and cocoa so people can decide if they want to mix something up.

I ignore it all and just sit in my corner trying to gather my thoughts.

As the room fills with people, I feel increasingly out of place. There's so much changing, and not in a way I like. More unfamiliar faces, including a woman with auburn curls chatting animatedly with Lou. He smiles so openly and honestly as he talks with her, each smile feels like a stab at my heart.

Charlotte leans close when Hannah arrives with her friend. The bodyguard is here, and I barely register her words. I'm too busy feeling the sting of Lou's betrayal, wondering how I could have ever thought a truce was possible.

As Sofie introduces the new members, including Lou, and some others from Crestfield, I can't bring myself to care. The seat I chose was a mistake. I can't escape Lou's gaze, and the way he keeps looking at me, like he's waiting for something.

Sleep after book club didn't come easy. It didn't help that I could hear Lou's voice through the wall, low and sad, talking to Cinnamon. Not what he was saying word for word exactly, but the tone of it tugged at something inside me, something I didn't want to feel. Was he saying goodbye to her? The thought made my heart clench. As much as he said she wasn't his dog, she completely was.

I wake up exhausted, and with a headache that settles in like a heavy fog. By the time I drag myself to the bakery, my body is past demanding caffeine, and I immediately go for my emergency stash of the good Coca-Cola. The good kind that only comes from Mexico that I keep for days like today.

After a long sip of the cold drink, the painkillers I took earlier are working, and the ovens start preheating. Then and only then, do I pull on my apron and start on the custom order of cupcakes.

The routine, and rhythmic hum of the batter mixing usually soothes me, but today, it's just noise. I force myself to focus, and try to shake away the pressure building in my chest. I left my anxiety pills at home, and today is not the day for a panic attack. I don't have time for it.

I'm finishing the frosting on the last row of cupcakes when I hear the back door unlock.

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