Page 30 of She Found Me

After taking a drink, I’m feeling more awake and a little hungry.

“Now, on your notes, it’s doesn’t say anything about any allergies. Are there definitely no intolerances I need to be aware of, Eric?” Elena asks.

Eric shakes his head.

“Good. How about a yogurt to start off with, Arianna?”

“Yes, please,” I whisper trying to gain control over my voice.

Eric eventually leaves to go home and rest, which I am thankful for. I know he cares about me, but I feel uncomfortable with him sat staring at me all day. Elena takes good care of me through the night. I’m given some more pain relief, and thankfully I have a good sleep without being interrupted by nightmares. In the morning the doctor comes to see me.

“Good morning, Arianna, Eric. I’ve come to discuss a few things with you.” The doctor takes a seat beside me, and Eric does the same. “Now when you came into hospital, we did some blood tests, something we do with all our patients being admitted. We test for things like blood type, as we didn’t have yours on record, antibodies, infection levels, things like that. However, one thing that came up in your bloods, your husband wasn’t aware of,” the doctor explains, and his voice slows, making me worry. “You are in fact pregnant, Arianna.”

The information hits me like a ton of bricks. How can this be happening to me? I look at Eric, who seems quite happy with the revelation.

“Your HCG levels are high and have stayed so, indicating you are around eight to twelve weeks. We will be able to confirm that with an ultrasound. But...”

I don’t like the sound of that "but". I can’t say I’m happy with any of this—however, I couldn’t face something else being wrong.

“During your accident you sustained a number of extensive injuries that could have impacted the pregnancy. We then have given you multiple medications, and you’ve been through many medical procedures, which again could have affected the baby. Your bloods do give us some hope, but I need you to keep an open mind, Arianna, and you, too, Eric. We need to take each day as it comes.”

Wow, I can’t even put into words how I feel. I’m stunned into silence, so frustrated this is even my life. I feel like I’m trapped.

The doctor makes arrangements for me to have a scan this morning. I’m pleased I don’t have to wait long. The porters arrive to take me to the maternity unit to have a scan. The nurses unclip my IV medication and fluids and attach them to the bed for transportation. The porters release the brakes on my bed and wheel me down the bright corridors. The florescent ceiling lights have me closing my eyes. It takes about five minutes to reach the unit after a lift ride and many swinging doors. I’m taken into a dark room, which pleases my eyes. Around me are ultrasound machines with screens and coloured flashing lights. Eric appears and stands at my side, looking concerned.

Eric tries to comfort me. “Don’t worry, it will be okay.”

But it has no effect. To be honest, I’m not really feeling anything emotionally. Just pain from my injuries and frustration at my lack of control.

“Hello, Arianna, I’m Sally, and I’m going to be performing your ultrasound today.”

“Hello, Sally,” I say, my voice becoming much clearer.

Sally sits beside me on a high stool and pulls a machine along with her. “I just need to raise your gown so I can get to your abdomen.” Sally pulls my bed sheet down to my hips and lifts my gown, exposing my stomach, which still has visible bruising. “I’ll be gentle.” She smiles sympathetically.

After rubbing gel onto my stomach, she places the scanner on my skin. Slowly and gently, she moves it from side to side. Lying there staring at the ceiling, I try again to remember something. Anything will do. A tiny memory about my life before the accident. But nothing. Why can’t I remember?

“Just try to relax.” Sally speaks to me softly, clearly noticing me tensing my body. “I’ve almost finished with my checks, then I’ll turn the screen and show you your baby.”

My what now? I know that’s what I’m having the scan for, but it really hadn’t registered. Although I hoped nothing would be wrong, I hadn’t thought about what that actually meant. For nothing else to be wrong, it means I am having a baby—me. Who is me? How can I look after a baby when I can’t even remember who I am.

“Here we are,” Sally says as she turns the screen towards me and Eric. “Baby is measuring about ten weeks. Everything looks perfectly normal for this stage. You both must be so relieved.” Sally beams at us.

I look at Eric, who has a smile that reaches both ears. He’s nodding in agreement.

“Yes, so relieved,” Eric replies, then asks Sally questions, like when will know if it’s a boy or a girl, can she tell if it’s been hurt during my accident, and so on.

But I switch off. I can’t even think about a baby right now.

Chapter 17

Mia

With each week that passes, I get a little bit stronger. I’ve started to walk with the help of physiotherapists and a lot of determination on my part. My bones are fully healed now thanks to the operations I had while in a coma and the bed rest I have had for the last six weeks. Unfortunately, having hardly moved for those weeks, my muscles have pretty much disintegrated. I’m now trying to build them up. I need to be careful with my skin, as it’s still healing from the burns, so I can’t overdo it, but the sooner I can walk, the sooner I’ll feel more myself, I’m sure.

My memory still hasn’t returned. The doctors aren’t sure it ever will. But I’m not giving up hope. Unlike my husband Eric, who seems unbothered by the fact I have no memory of our wedding and life together before the accident. He just keeps saying we are going to make new memories. Which is fine, as I know he’s trying to cheer me up. However, I’m not giving up.

“So tell me about our school. What did it look like? Where was it?” I ask Eric. Everyday while eating our lunch he tells me about our past, hoping it will jog my memory.

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