Page 69 of Finding You

“She’s good. She’s settling into her new routine. It’s…” He hesitated. It wasn’t all fun and games.

“What?” Dallas pressed. He lifted his head and met Kylen’s gaze. “If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, but I could use the distraction.”

Kylen bit his lower lip, then let it go. He watched Dallas’s eyes track the movement and saw his pupils dilate. It was unexpected, though Kylen understood. Stress sometimes got him hot and bothered too. He didn’t want to push boundaries though. He’d make sure Dallas always felt gorgeous and wanted, but he’d always let him make the first move.

He gave Dallas a smile and brushed a lock of hair from his forehead. “She’s been getting a little mean. Spitting. Hitting. I had a panic attack over it and almost considered pulling her out, but the staff promised me that this is what they do. They’re trained to take care of it.”

“And I know your grandmother probably loves Flora more than life itself, but she might not know how to love her safely right now,” Dallas pointed out.

That thought had crossed Kylen’s mind. He’d just been too afraid to say it aloud. When Flora was born, he envisioned her having the love and support he’d been given growing up. He hadn’t realized how bad it was going to get and how quickly. He was mourning the loss of her but also the loss of what should have been.

He took a breath, then shrugged. “Yeah, I know I made the right choice. Just like I know I made the right choice when I decided not to see my family again.”

Dallas turned his body and frowned. “Is that really what you want?”

“What do you mean?”

Dallas bit his lip, his brows furrowing the way they did whenever he was struggling with his thoughts. “I’m all for cutting people off when they won’t change. But you do love your family.”

He did. Sometimes he wished he couldn’t. Sometimes he wished he could just drop a wall of silence between himself and the rest of them forever and leave it at that. But he wasn’t ready to give up on them.

Dallas touched his cheek gently. “Exactly. You love them. So why not go for something else?”

“I don’t understand,” Kylen said, shifting closer.

“Make them see you for who you are. Stick to your plan.”

“Parading you around like a hot trophy boyfriend?” Kylen’s tone was tinged with bitterness—not really because he was angry with Dallas, but because he felt guilty now that he’d fallen so hard so fast for this man. And Dallas didn’t deserve to be some trophy on his arm.

Dallas chuckled and shrugged. “I’ve been called worse things. But that is kind of what I meant. I was going to play your dutiful boyfriend madly in love with you so they wouldn’t have a choice but to understand that you are who you are—and you love who you love.”

“And you still want to do that?”

Dallas lifted a brow. “Why wouldn’t I? It’s a hell of a lot easier now that I know I like you.”

Like. Not love. Which was fine. Kylen could keep his own feelings to himself for a while. For as long as Dallas needed him to, so long as that didn’t stretch on until forever. He knew he couldn’t wait that long. He wanted Dallas, but he also wanted to be happy.

“Sorry, am I crossing a line?” Dallas asked into Kylen’s persistent silence.

He quickly shook his head. “No. God, not at all. I just…” He hesitated. He didn’t know what he thought about Dallas’s offer, but only because he wasn’t convinced it would make a difference. He wanted to believe his family had a breaking point—that there would be some kind of lightbulb moment where it clicked and they realized that yeah, he was a goddamn gay man, and that wasn’t going to change because of one night with a woman.

“Let me think about it. We have a few weeks.”

Dallas nodded, then reached out and pulled Kylen against his chest. “Is this okay?”

Kylen laughed softly and nodded against his lover’s bulging pec. He wanted to rub his face against it, but he didn’t want Dallas to be uncomfortable. “Anything you want is okay.”

Dallas stiffened, but before Kylen could pull away, his hand began to travel down Kylen’s spine, over his sweats, and then Dallas’s warm palm cupped his ass cheek. “This?”

Kylen pulled back and met his gaze. “Anything. But I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret.”

“I don’t know that I’ll ever regret being with you,” Dallas murmured.

Kylen’s heart throbbed in his chest. “How about a kiss first. Take it slow. Listen to yourself—to what you want.”

Dallas lifted his free hand and cupped Kylen’s jaw. “I’m not going to get hard tonight, but being with you—being physical with you—makes me feel really, really good. So if you’re okay with it, I’d like to play with you.”

Kylen shuddered. Hard. He fought back a groan because the last thing he wanted to do was shout the roof down in a house full of strangers—and Dallas’s baby. But he definitely wasn’t going to say no to that offer.

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