Page 55 of Finding You

“You’re afraid of being bad at sex,” Kylen pointed out. Dallas immediately stiffened, but he knew they had to talk this out before they fucked again. “Someone clearly messed with your head, and I want to know what happened.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Kylen met his gaze and narrowed his eyes. “Yes, it does. I need to know because I will not hurt you like they did. Was it your ex?”

Dallas swallowed thickly. “I…yes. But it wasn’t really her fault.”

“Babe—”

“No. I mean, yes, she’s responsible for the things she did. I’m not making excuses for her cheating or the way she’s treated me. But…” He trailed off, his gaze cutting to the side. In spite of his massive body, he seemed small and uncertain. “I’ve known for a long time that I’m not, you know, normal.”

“That’s subjective, but okay,” Kylen said.

Dallas pulled a face, but he was fighting back a smile. “That’s what Adele always says when one of us is being a dipshit about being different.”

“Good,” Kylen said. “I like this guy already.”

He noticed Dallas stiffen and look angry for a second. Was that jealousy? He didn’t want to hope. After a beat, Dallas cleared his throat. “Anyway, so, yeah. I’ve never been into sex the way most people are. At school, everyone was so obsessed with it, and I didn’t understand what the fuss was about. Then people noticed that I, uh, wasn’t the same as they were.”

Kylen’s heart began to sink. “Dallas…are you coming out to me right now?”

Dallas looked petrified, but he nodded. He let Kylen go and sat up, hugging his knees to his chest. “Asexual. You know that, right?”

“I know it.” Oh fuck, had Kylen just crossed a line? Dallas had seemed so into it. He said he wanted it. Was there something he missed?

“I didn’t understand what was going on with me because sometimes I would really want to have sex. And we would, and it was nice. But then she’d expect it all the time, and I just…wouldn’t. My ex took it really hard. She blamed herself first, and then she blamed me.”

“So just now, with me…you wanted that, right?” Kylen asked.

Dallas took him by the chin. “Yes. I wanted that so much. And I want more with you right now. I really, really like you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I’m greysexual, so emotionally connecting with you has been everything.”

Kylen’s relief was almost painful the way it rushed through him. “Okay. Okay. That’s…thank you for trusting me with that, sweetheart. I know that wasn’t easy.”

Dallas let out a trembling laugh. “No. It wasn’t. But it’s worse because I don’t know how often I’ll want this again. And I don’t want you to think it’s you.”

Kylen couldn’t help a small chuckle as he sat up and pried one of Dallas’s arms away from his legs, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “I know how asexuality works. I know how greysexual works too. I know that just because you like me, having my dick isn’t going to suddenly turn you into some randy horndog who wants to fuck three times a day.”

Dallas flushed a brilliant red. “Oh my God.”

Kylen smiled, unrepentant. “I’m being serious.”

“I know. That’s the worst part,” Dallas groaned, hiding his face.

Kylen laughed as he climbed to his knees, then straddled Dallas’s thighs. He was warm and solid beneath him, and Kylen had a sudden and furious need to figure out a way that would allow him to keep this man forever.

When Dallas dropped his hands, Kylen cupped his face and tilted his chin up. “I understand what you’re saying.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Kylen told him, stressing the word. “It means sometimes we’ll be all over each other. And sometimes we won’t.”

“It probably means we won’t more than we will,” Dallas corrected.

Kylen nodded. That wasn’t an issue for him. He liked sex. He got horny. He enjoyed it when he had it. But he could live without it. There were so many more fulfilling things in life than getting off. Stroking his thumbs over Dallas’s cheeks, he stared at the fear in his eyes. “What has you so scared?”

“This,” Dallas said. His voice was rough, and his fingers trembled as he curled them around Kylen’s wrists. “I like you a lot. This feels so good. Right here just…just being with you. Holding you. I crave this so much more than I have ever or will ever crave sex.”

“I’m okay with that.”

---