Page 48 of Finding You

He turned to Frey, who set his hands on Kylen’s shoulders and squeezed. “Let it out.”

“I can’t,” he whispered. “If I start now, I won’t stop.”

“In my experience, it only feels like that. If you start now, you can release some of that pressure so you can get everything done that needs to be done.”

“There’s so much,” he started, but his voice cracked. Shit. He was going to lose it. God help him. He tried to swallow, but his throat wouldn’t cooperate. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. I can’t keep…I can’t…”

A tear slid down his cheek.

God, he didn’t cry. He never fucking cried. Why now? Why was this breaking him?

Frey slid his arms around him. “Let go,” he whispered.

Kylen began to shake all over, and then suddenly, a sob tore from his chest. He buried it in Frey’s scrubs as the man held him so tight he could barely breathe. It wasn’t enough. Kylen felt like he was losing himself to the anger, the grief, and the frustration. He was mourning the only person in his family who had ever truly loved him as he was, and she wasn’t even gone yet.

His family didn’t seem to give a shit that it was torture for him to endure this. And the fact that they willingly laid this on his shoulders without offering to help, then standing in his way when he tried to get it, was shredding him inside.

“I hate my family,” he gasped.

Frey rubbed his hands up and down Kylen’s back. “They sound like real douchebags.”

Kylen let out a watery laugh. The urge to scream-sob had lessened. He could breathe again. His throat wasn’t so tight. His cheeks were wet, but he didn’t fall to pieces the way he’d expected he was going to. “A year ago, I looked into some care facilities. There were some really crappy ones, but there’s a nice one down the road from me.”

“Hidden Meadows,” Frey said.

Kylen pulled back and swiped at his face when Frey let him go. “You know it?”

“I stand by it,” Frey said, pressing his hand over his heart. “It’s a good place.”

“Everything I read said that it would be such a good place for her. But when I told my family, they staged an intervention and called me a shitty grandson. They made me feel like a monster for wanting to send her there.”

“But they’re the same people who refused to pick her up?” Frey asked. “I spoke with one woman this morning—Sharon?”

“My mother,” Kylen said darkly.

Frey closed his eyes and took a breath. “She went off about how irresponsible and careless you were for not picking up the phone. None of them seemed concerned that we couldn’t reach you.”

Kylen swallowed thickly. “I was at work. I’m going to lose my fucking house if I don’t work, but I can’t work full-time and take care of Gran because no one will stay with her. We only qualify for twelve hours of in-home care a week, and they were the people who failed to show up on time and let her lie there after her fall for almost half a fucking hour. I can’t…I can’t keep this up. I feel like I’m losing myself.”

Frey cupped his cheeks. His palms were warm. It was almost as comforting as it was when Dallas had held him, and he understood in that moment why Dallas called his friends his family. What Kylen wouldn’t give to have this in his life.

“You’re not losing yourself, but you cannot tear yourself to pieces like this. It’s not right. And it’s not cruel to put her somewhere she’s going to get the care she needs.”

Kylen leaned into Frey’s touch for a moment, then stepped back. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to take the calls today.”

Frey’s eyes darkened. “I will tell Dallas to take you over his knee and spank your ass if you apologize again.”

Kylen flushed so hard, so hot, he felt dizzy. “Christ.”

Frey’s lips turned up into a smirk. “Mm. Thought so. Honey, let me get someone from Hidden Meadows over here to talk to you, okay? Fuck your family. Do this now before they can talk you out of it.”

Kylen started shaking all over again. He’d never gone against them like this. Not ever. But Frey was right. He couldn’t tear himself to pieces. It wasn’t fair to Flora, and it wasn’t fair to him. He didn’t want to be lonely for the rest of his life. He wanted to be loved and cared for. But he couldn’t ask someone to stay in his life when he could only give a tiny part of himself over.

He needed this.

And he needed someone around to remind him that it was okay. He wasn’t a monster for choosing this. He just wished he wasn’t so damn alone in his life.

His gran fell asleep shortly after Frey took him to the other room, so when the rep from Hidden Meadows showed up, she slept through the whole thing. The meeting went as well as the first one he’d had over the phone, but looking the woman in the eye and getting a feel for her settled what little nerves he had left.

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