Page 54 of Praying for Rain

“Wes.” Her tiny voice is almost a whisper as the straw rustles beneath her approaching feet.

I hold my hand out, as if that will keep her from coming any closer. “Just … go home. Go be with your parents.”

“I don’t want to,” she whines. “I want to stay here. With you.”

I lift my head as anger surges through my bloodstream. “You only have a few hours left to live, and you’re gonna waste them on somebody you don’t even know? What the fuck is wrong with you? I have nothing to offer you. No supplies, no shelter, no fucking means of self-defense!” I throw the gun in my hand as hard as I can past Rain and into the forest. “I can’t save you. I can’t even save myself. Go the fuck home and be with your family while you still have one.”

Rain doesn’t even turn her head as the weapon sails by. Her pleading, glistening eyes are trained on me and me alone. “I don’t care about any of that, Wes. I … I care about you.”

“Well, you shouldn’t,” I snarl, gritting my teeth as I prepare to break what’s left of my own sputtering heart. “I was just using you to help me get what I wanted, and here it is, in all its flooded glory.” I sweep a hand over the cesspool in front of me and let out a disgusted laugh. “So go the fuck home, Rain. I don’t need you anymore.”

The lie tastes like arsenic on my tongue and hits Rain with a force almost as deadly. Her mouth drops open, and her eyes blink rapidly as she struggles to process the poison I just spat at her. I expect her to argue with me. To come back with more teenage girl whining about whatever it is she thinks she feels for me. But she doesn’t.

She swallows.

She nods.

She tucks her head to hide her quivering chin.

And then she says the words that cut deeper than any goodbye I’ve ever suffered through.

“I just wanted to help.”

Rain

My feet feel like cinder blocks as I stumble back down the trail toward the highway, struggling to open the childproof bottle in my shaking hands.

Don’t fucking cry.

Don’t you dare fucking cry.

My eyes, my throat, my lungs—they burn worse than when I was crawling through Carter’s smoke-filled house. But I have to hold back the tears. I have to. If I cry for him, then I’ll have to cry for all of them. And I can’t do that. I won’t.

“Go home, Rain.”

I look behind me, but Wes isn’t following. The only thing I have left of him is his cruel, dismissive voice. I walk faster, trying to get away from it.

“Go be with your parents.”

He told me he would use me up. That I would leave him. I didn’t believe it at the time, but all it took was five simple words for him to prove himself right.

“I don’t need you anymore.”

With a desperate grunt, I rip the cap off and throw it as hard as I can against a tree. I don’t look to see where it lands. It doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing does.

Wes was my only hope. My only shot at life after April 23. Without him, my hours are numbered.

Without him, I don’t want the ones I have left.

Wes

As I listen to Rain’s footsteps getting farther away, I feel a pure, unbridled hatred begin to fester in my soul. I don’t hate the nightmares or the flooded shelter or even Rain for doing exactly what I told her to. I hate the man staring back at me. I want to wrap my fucking hands around his neck and squeeze until I have the pleasure of watching all the life drain from his eyes. Because he’s the one who made her leave.

He’s the one who makes everyone leave.

His fucking face is nothing more than a lie. He uses it to trick people into thinking he’s trustworthy. Attractive. Confident. Strong. But he’s an ugly, lying piece of shit that people can’t wait to get away from as soon as they see past the facade.

I spit in his worthless fucking face, watching it distort into ripples just before I slam the metal door with a primal scream.

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