Page 52 of Saving Lauren

“Are you cold?” she asks, and I nod.

“I was always cold, before I met D’Var. And now I can’t seem to get warm again, without him to hold me.” A lonely tear flows down my cheek, Kepti brushes it away with the softest touch.

“He will come back for you, L’Ren.”

“He will always come back for me,” I whisper and then I look at her.

“That is what he promised me.” I swallow and sob. “He also promised me he would never leave me.” And suddenly a realization dawns. “But he also promised me Yalix head.”

My voice breaks a bit. “Did he already know he was going after Yalix?” Suddenly I have this urgent feeling, I need to know the answer. Did he always intend to leave me?

Kepti just feeds me more tea, I am too distracted by my own thoughts to notice, so I obediently swallow. It does help with the headache and after a couple of sips, I start to feel steady so I finish the tea myself.

“Can I take a shower?” I ask her and she smiles.

“Of course.” She guides me to the bathroom. Thank God it’s a water shower like D’Var has on the ship and I wash away all the terror from my nightmares. When I emerge from the shower in a towel, I find clean clothes on the bed. I smile at the motherly actions of Kepti. She really is a wonderful person.

Kepti feeds me, then she insists we go for a walk. I don’t want to, but I really don’t have the energy to fight her.

We walk through the Ring, arms linked, and luckily nobody approaches us. I sense T’Rak before I can see him, but he doesn’t approach. He hovers behind us, scaring everybody away like a bodyguard. Huh. He probably is our bodyguard, and a teeny, tiny bit of my fractured heart starts to glue together. A pulse shooting through the bond. He left me, but he didn’t leave me alone.

“Is T’Rak here to look after me?” I ask Kepti, and she nods.

“D’Var does not trust anybody with your safety, but T’Rak. He is the fiercest of warriors and he will protect you with his life.” I look back at T’Rak, trying to smile, but the smile falters. T’Rak gives me an acknowledging nod and I turn back towards Kepti as we keep on walking.

We walk towards the Garden, and I am hesitant to enter, but Kepti just drags me inside. We take a different path than two days ago, and we walk, and walk. Kepti talks endlessly. About the plants, the flowers, the trees, the planets where they are originally from. And she talks about food, and about cooking, and about a whole lot of things I don’t specifically pay attention to, but I welcome the distraction.

The day passes, we walk, Kepti talks, and we eat. By the time it’s evening, I’m exhausted, hiding myself in my bedroom again. Crawling into bed, nestling under all the blankets and fading into the blissful escape of sleep.

CHAPTER 29

Lauren

The next day goes almost the same as yesterday. And the next day, and the next. While my days are uneventful, my nights are terrifying. Yalix is haunting me, taunting me and I wake up screaming for D’Var more than once every night. It leaves me tired, so tired. But Kepti is effortless in her feeding me, making me walk, and talking to me.

Eventually she wears me down and I start talking back. Start listening to what she is saying. I still feel like a ghost of the woman I was before he left, but every day Kepti manages to bring me back to myself a little bit more.

Everywhere we go, T’Rak is close. Walking with us, he even joins us at meals. I secretly think he is also sleeping at Kepti’s house somewhere, making sure he protects me as best as he can, I am beginning to like his silent presence.

The first days, Kepti hovered over me like a mother hen, but eventually she leaves me alone. T’Rak is always close though, ever my silent companion.

Today I have questions. Questions I need answers to, I think T’Rak can give me.

“Walk with me?” I ask him, nodding his agreement he follows me.

We walk for a bit and subconsciously I take us to the clearing where D’Var left me, brokenhearted and alone. I move to sit on one of the logs and I motion T’Rak to sit next to me.

“Why did he go, T’Rak? I really, really don’t understand.”

“He went because he had to, L’Ren,” he says then remains quiet.

“What is that supposed to mean? I turn towards him, put my hands at my sides, my eyes spitting fire and I mimic his low voice: “Because he had to. Bullshit.”

“Bull-shit?” T’Rak repeats and I groan. I know some words don’t translate well, but this one has very annoying timing.

“It means crap, nonsense.”

“Like what you are saying?” I glare at him, but he seems unmoved. Then he sighs.

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