Page 56 of Saving Lauren

The initial battle rush has worn off, all I can think about is my Zarra. I know she must be hurting, and the closer we get to the Ring, the more my bond is making itself known. It still feels dimmed. If I am honest, I am afraid I have pushed it away too much.

However, that is not something I can change or do something about right now. So, I wait. Counting the days it will take me to have my mate in my arms again. The discarded head off her tormentor totally forgotten.

O’Rec is sleeping when we get near the nebula. It still remains one of the most astonishing sights I have seen in all my travels. I pause my work to look at it. Really look at it.

That’s when it hits me. All the emotions, all the pain, all the heartbreak slam into me. Being this close to the spark there is literally nothing that holds me back from the bond anymore - it all hits me at once. I barely manage to send a distressed call out to O’Rec, before I slump and crash in agony.

The pain burns through me, churning up my insides, making me delusional. I am vaguely aware of O’Rec rushing in to see me curled up on the ground next to my chair. He runs out and comes back with something, most likely his medical kit. I am slipping in and out of consciousness by now having no clue what he is doing exactly. I feel his hands on me, and I grab hold of his. There is only one thing that can help me, I manage to croak out her name, before my world fades, “L’Ren!”

When I wake up, I am lying in the small bed, moaning and writing in the sheets. I hear voices in the distance. O’Rec I think.

“Do not stress yourself, my friend,” he tells me through the bond. “You got hit with days of pain and agony all in one moment.”

“Is this. Is this how it felt like for her?” My stomach turns and twists at the thought. Is this what I did to my mate? There is no answer and I test to see how far we are from home.

“T’Rak?” I try, a shadow appears in the doorway of the small bedroom.

“I am here,” he says. He looks at me, then dismisses my shaking form. “You will be fine. She came out fine, so you should too.”

Inside my mind I am screaming. How could I? How could I do this to her? How did I not know it was this bad? My thoughts are scrambling. Where is she? I need to go to her. I need to see her now! I try to get up, but apparently my legs cannot hold my body anymore and I fall to the ground, where I promptly throw up.

T’Rak takes pity on me, lifting me back towards the bed.

“L’Ren is sleeping, I will bring her to you when she wakes up. Try not to kill yourself in the meantime,” he says before he leaves.

I must have fallen asleep, because I startle awake to the best scent in the world, L’Ren.

“L’Ren?” I croak, slowly turning and trying to open my eyes. I feel small hands taking my bigger one. Stroking my fingers.

“O D’Var,” she says and sighs. “What did you do to yourself?”

I feel something wet landing on my arm, it is then I realize it is her tears.

“L’Ren,” I say again. My voice is hoarse, as I push myself to sit up. I lose my balance and fall back, cracking my head against the wall.

“Don’t try to get up, D’Var,” L’Ren says. “I don’t want you to hurt more than you already do.”

“I am sorry,” I whisper, and she sniffs. I will myself to open my eyes and I am shocked by her appearance. There, on the side of my bed is my mate, my Zarra, but she is not the same person I left behind. Her eyes are sunken, they look hollow. Her skin is pale. She looks thin. Too thin. Has she not been taking care of herself?

I push myself up again, this time succeeding in the task. L’Ren immediately pushes some pillows behind my back, I lean into them. Then I gently pull L’Ren into my arms again.

Home. I am home.

CHAPTER 31

Lauren

Iam… speechless. D’Var shakily pulls me into his arms, but there is no real strength behind it. This sick male looks nothing like my D’Var. I lean back, not wanting to crush him or make him uncomfortable in any other way.

His hand touches my cheek, shaking from the effort and his other hand joins in.

“L’Ren,” he whispers, his fingers skim my face, as if he needs to feel for himself that I am here. He bows towards me, and his cheek grazes mine.

“I am so, so sorry,” he whispers when he pulls back from me, looking at me intently. My own heartbreak reflected in his eyes.

“Did I do this to you, L’Ren?” Worry etched on his handsome face. My lip quivers as a lonely tear making its way down my cheek.

“Yes.” I croak, my quiet confession hitting him like a sledgehammer. He almost falls back in recoil, so I reach out to grab him, hugging him to me.

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