Page 53 of Saving Lauren

“We are warriors, L’Ren. We are protectors first and above anything else. The Warriors of Arracate have always been protectors of their piece of the galaxy. It is in our blood, the stars made us that way. When we find our mate, the protectiveness only heightens. It becomes all we can think about for the first period. She needs to be safe, if she is safe, she needs to be cared for, once she is cared for she needs to be loved.”

I have never heard T’Rak speak so many words.

“You are not safe, L’Ren.”

I open my mouth to protest, but he gives me a stern look.

“You are not safe. You were a captive when he found you. Then you could not bear to suffer his proximity, to feel his touch. When he finally found a way he could help you, you were taken.”

I blink. I did not think of the past weeks like that. I swallow trying to speak, but T’Rak is not finished.

“You were taken, L’Ren. Taken from right under his nose. While he should have been keeping you safe, you were taken. All your words about how it was not his fault will do him no good, because it was his fault. He cannot trust it will not happen again, because it already happened. You are still not safe.”

Tears are streaming down my face again and I look at T’Rak.

“Why didn’t he take me with him?” I ask with a small voice.

T’Rak looks at me with a sympathetic look.

“He cannot, L’Ren. He cannot risk letting you in the vicinity of Yalix, because where you are concerned, he cannot think straight. He must be focused to make a quick death of Yalix and his accomplices. Also so they do not know he is there. It is the fastest way for his time come back to you.”

I tremble. Is he truly doing this for me? To keep me safe?

“Does he love me?” I bite my lip as the question spills, afraid to look T’Rak in his eyes.

“Look at me, L’Ren,” T’Rak says and I look at him, feeling my eyes water again.

“D’Var loves you more than anything or anyone he has ever loved before. It is a love that cannot be expressed in words. What he feels for you has been written in the stars and has been growing ever since he led eyes on you. He never spoke of it, and I am certain he has better words than I do. But you can see it in his eyes, in the way he looks at you and takes care of you.”

T'Rak continues: “What a Warrior feels for his Zarra is unlike anything anybody can ever experience. When he sees her, he is gone. All he can see is her, and she shines for him like the brightest star in the darkest sky.” T’Rak pauses, “Please try to understand, L’Ren. D’Var is doing this for you, because in order to be free to fully care for you and love you, you have to be safe first.”

“Safe,” I whisper.

“Safe,” T’Rak states.

I don’t know how long T’Rak and I spend sitting on that log in that clearing. My heart gathers the pieces I dropped here, gently putting itself back together. With every sigh of resignation, with every shimmer of understanding the bond pulses and I feel a little bit better.

Don’t get me wrong, D’Var is still a dickhead. I will hand him his ass when he returns. But I understand now. I understand why he needs to do this. I wish he would have taken the time to explain and to ease me into it. I sigh. Longing takes over and I am hit by the most intense sensation of missing him.

I can’t wallow in it, I won’t. I need to talk to Kepti. After that, I need to go home, and sleep in my own bed. So, I stand looking at T’Rak.

“Let’s go. I want to go home.” He nods and we walk to Kepti’s house. She is inside, having a cup of tea and I give her a big hug.

“What was that for?” She laughs, making me smile.

“To say thank you, for being there for me, for getting me out of my misery.”

She smiles but it is sad. “I told you I understand.”

I cringe inwardly, I have been so insensitive towards her. She lost her mate, of course she understands. I begin to tell her how sorry I am, but she just cuts me off.

“More importantly, do you understand now?” I lick my lips and I nod.

“Yes, yes, I do. It took me some time, but T’Rak helped me through it.”

“Good,” she nods, then she untangles herself from me and starts putting food on plates.

“Here, eat. You need your strength.”

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