Page 35 of Saving Lauren

I sigh. I don’t want him to feel my emotions right now. My head is not in the best place, and I desperately want to keep it to myself.

Before I know it, D’Var has turned me around in his arms. He gently pulls me into him and draws the blanket around us. Laying on our sides, I am tucked into his warm chest, protected by his big arms.

“Before, when I was with Yalix, he did everything he could, to try to break me,” I whisper against his skin. I feel D’Var tensing up, but he only draws me in closer, kissing the top of my head. I continue, because I need him to know. I need to speak this out loud.

“He couldn’t, obviously, but when he got tired of the regular torture, he had a very special way of making sure I would comply.” I pause, mentally preparing myself to speak the words that will reveal my greatest nightmare.

“He put me in a box. A black metal box, I had to curl up in a ball to fit inside it and he would leave me in it for days. It was so cold, always so cold. There was no food, no water, and I had to relieve myself on the spot. It was terrible. Then, when it was done, they would hose me down and sometimes put me back in the box, or torture me in other ways if I showed any defiance," I weep.

“The only thing I hate more than that box is Yalix himself.” I feel D’Var caressing my back.

“Every time I hear another thing about what they did to you, my respect for you rises,” he says. “I have never met a warrior like you. One with such strength and perseverance.”

I wiggle myself out of his tight embrace a bit, so I can look at him. He caresses my cheek.

“I mean it, L’Ren. You have overcome more than many a warrior.” I eye him skeptically.

“You don’t think I am too damaged? Broken? Dirty?”

“DIRTY?” He almost roars. “Who called you dirty? Tell me their name so I can bring you their heads.”

I giggle. “I am ashamed to admit how much I like this savage side of you, but no, nobody called me that. It’s just… I think of myself like that sometimes.”

“Why?” he asks, completely baffled by my line of thinking.

“Well, because of the whole space whore and sex slave thing? And now with his brand on my thigh...”

He tilts my head so I can look into his eyes. His eyes have a serious glint that pin me down with a long stare.

“Do not ever think less of yourself, because of what you have been through. You are not dirty, or damaged, or broken. You are everything to me. I told you that my heart only beats for you know, and it is true. Without you, I cannot go on without you.” He takes my hand and puts it on his chest.

“Do you feel my heart beating, my sweet Zarra? Do you feel that?” I nod and he continues.

“You are the star in my void, the light that will lead me, the fire that burns within me. There is not a cell in my being that would not think the world of you, just the way you are.”

He takes my hand, turning it around to place it between my breasts.

“Do you feel it? Our bond?” I nod. “Trust in it, trust in me, trust in us. We were meant to be together, it is written in the stars.”

If there was still a wall standing in my mind, in my heart, it is gone now. This alien, with his touches, his kisses. He not only told me how he feels about me, but I can feel it. The bond is pulsing, it is making me absolutely sure that he is telling the truth. Suddenly I know, without a doubt, that I love him.

I put my arms around his neck and pull him close so I can kiss him. I put all of my feelings in the kiss, even though I am sure he will probably feel them anyway. He opens his lips against mine and gives me the sweetest of kisses. We kiss for a while, his hands roaming my back, his lips firm against mine.

I feel his tail sliding between our legs and I moan and hike up my right leg to put it over his. He gives me one more lingering kiss before he pulls back and looks at me.

“Are you okay, my mate?” I nod. “I can feel your arousal, and I want nothing more than to make you mine, but you have been through so much.”

He trails off, keeping his eyes locked with mine. I gently touch his cheek, and caress his neck.

“I am okay, D’Var. I do not hurt anywhere, nobody touched me like that, and I would like nothing more than to feel you inside of me.” I blush at my direct words, biting my lower lip.

“Is it the bond that is making me come onto you so hard?”

D’Var nods. “I think it is. Are you okay with that?”

I think about that for a minute. The thought does not scare me, or makes me feel like I am losing control. It actually makes me glad, because it simplifies things for me.

“Yes… Yes, I am okay with it,” I tell D’Var before I slowly kiss him again. “I know, I want you, and if the bond is making me forget all my worries, I am happy for it and I don’t want to waste a single second.”

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