Page 29 of The Wolf's Mate

“Why do you say that?”

“Because,” she sighs and crosses her arms over her chest, “I was constantly putting so much stress on the family. I was never satisfied or appreciated the life they worked so hard to give my sister and me.” She sniffles, and I see the first tear run down her cheek.

There’s more to the story, I know there is, but I’m not going to push her. I’ll let her talk to me on her own terms. Instead, I don’t even think. I act on instinct and push out of my chair to move in front of her.

“Rip?” The fear in her voice breaks my fucking heart.

She thinks I’m going to leave, but I don’t. I crouch down in front of her so I can be at eye-level. I feel her confusion and distress through our bond as if her pain is my own.

I can’t fucking stand her tears. Her pain is palpable, and I feel hopeless. I do the only thing I can and pull her in for a hug. I give her the opportunity to pull away from me, but she doesn’t. Hettie leans into my touch, crying into my shoulder.

“You don’t need to tell me. Not until you’re ready, Dove. Patience isn’t a virtue I possess, but for you? I can be.”

“I’m sorry,” she says even though she has nothing to apologize for. Hettie slowly peels herself away from me, wiping her eyes. She laughs humorlessly. “God, I’m pathetic. Now you know you mated a fuck-up.”

Her poor attempt at humor has me growling. “You are far from pathetic. You made mistakes, but your mistakes didn’t kill your father, Hettie. It was simply his time. But,” I sigh, running a hand through my hair, “I know what it feels like to let down a parent.”

“You do?” she asks curiously, her head tilting to the side.

I’m asking her to share something difficult; it seems only fair I should do the same. “Yes. I was too late to help my own father. He died in a fight. The fight for King Alpha against Michael.”

Hettie’s eyes widen. “Wait…Michael killed your father? I thought you were the one to fight him. Is that why he’s not part of your pack?”

It’s been years since I’ve relived my father’s death. Years since I watched my mom follow my father in death shortly after. She couldn't live in a world without him, so she left it. It happened so long ago, but it still stings like it was yesterday. Grief never leaves you, just lurks in the corner and appears when you least expect it.

“I did fight him, but the truth is more complicated than that,” I sigh. “My father reigned as the King Alpha for decades. I was expected to take up the position once my father decided to retire. However, Michael was my father’s second at the time. He was a bastard back then too, but a good strategist. Being second was never good enough for Michael, so he challenged my father for the throne.

“When they were set to fight, his advisors suggested I fight in his place. But I didn’t feel prepared. I was barely older than a pup, still trying to find my footing. My father saw the fear in my eyes and denied their suggestions. He said this was his fight alone.”

Guilt slices through me and cuts deep, even so many years later.

“Oh, Rip…” Hettie reaches out for me, taking my hand in hers. It’s so small compared to mine. She’s cold to the touch, but that doesn’t seem to bother her right now. “You can’t blame yourself for that. You were young.”

If only it were that simple. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for letting my father fight, knowing he was an older alpha going against an alpha in his prime. For being scared when I should have been brave.

“The fight lasted ten minutes. In the end, my father fell to Michael. That should have been enough to make him king, but I couldn’t let my father’s death go without trying to avenge him. So, I fought Michael, something I should have done in the first place.”

“And you won,” Hettie murmurs.

“I won. But I didn’t kill Michael…clearly. I didn’t want my first act as king to be sentencing someone to death, so I banished him. Over the years, more wolves left the pack to join Michael because they didn’t like my leadership.” I should have killed him. Had every reason to kill him, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it back then. It’s still the biggest mistake I’ve made as King Alpha.

This feels a lot like a turning point for both of us. Understanding colors the bond. Understanding of our trauma and for one another. The feeling is different but…right.

“I guess we are both fucked up then, huh? Perfect pairing.” Hettie grins, defusing the tension growing between us.

“You think we’re perfect, Dove?” I smirk. Getting back into a teasing mood is much easier than all the heavy shit we just let out.

Hettie rolls her eyes. “Of course you would think like that.” She tries to feign anger, but her smile gives her away. “Now go back to your chair so I can get back to my food.”

And just like that, the conversation is over. She gave me far more than I expected, and I’m starting to see my Luna in a new light. And she’s stronger than she gives herself credit for.

Chapter 14

Hettie

Over the next week, Rip and I share no more moments like the one we had outside the makeshift lab, which I’ve now dubbed The House of Wolfsbane, or HW for short. We also haven’t poured our hearts out to one another again. Part of me feels bad for not going into further detail about my life before Mescos and the reasons I sought out Ender, but I’m not ready.

I know telling Rip about my past will feel like a weight lifted off my shoulders. He won’t judge me; there was only concern and understanding in his eyes the other night. Learning about his parents put a lot of things in perspective for me too. Like why Rip is the way he is. Why he cares so much about his pack and keeping everyone safe. He doesn’t want to fail again.

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