Page 130 of Clash of Kingdoms

He rose to his feet behind his desk and continued to look at me, his eyes quickly shifting over my body to identify the differences in my appearance, the change in my skin tone, the light in my eyes. Then a smile moved across his face, the biggest, grandest smile I’d ever seen him give.

The fist around my heart unclenched at his delight.

He came around the desk and moved straight to me, warm affection in his eyes, his joy infectious. His palms cupped my neck as he stared at me head on. “I knew you’d come back, son.”

The heat burned behind my eyes, the emotion heavy in my chest. “You did?”

He nodded. “Welcome home.”

THIRTY

HARLOW

I sat on the hillside in the shade of the sycamore, the castle walls far behind me. Little flowers had popped up in the grass, and I plucked one before I tucked it behind my ear. I wore a cream-colored dress, the air warm and humid on this beautiful day. I’d spent most of my time alone, and after months of Aurelias’s absence, I’d come to accept that he wouldn’t return.

But I was still as devastated as the moment he’d left.

I’d always been slender, but I’d lost weight from not eating, lost muscle mass from not being active. My parents tried to spend time with me, but I usually rebuffed their advances or made an excuse to avoid them.

“Mind if I join you?” My mother sat on the grass beside me, also in a dress, ditching her uniform and armor the second we’d returned to Delacroix. While I was miserable, everyone else was at peace now that the war was over.

“Sure.” I picked another flower and handed it to her.

“Thanks, sweetheart.” She tucked it behind her ear.

With my legs crossed, I sat and looked at the fields of Delacroix beyond, the dragons who napped in the area that we reserved just for them. Pyre was out there with Storm, the two of them balled together like they were cold.

“How are you?”

I was constantly asked that question, and my answer never changed. “Fine.”

My mother didn’t press me. “It’ll get better.”

I gave a quiet chuckle. “It’ll never get better…”

“Time heals all wounds.”

“Not when the wound is on the heart,” I said. “I feel so stupid.”

“Why?” Her hand moved to my back, gently rubbing me.

“I actually thought he would come back…” But he’d been gone for months, so he obviously preferred different women for the rest of his eternal life instead of one woman for one life. “I was willing to give up everything for him, but he wouldn’t do the same for me. It wasn’t a relationship…just a fling.”

“A man doesn’t give his life for a fling, sweetheart.”

I knew I spoke out of anger, but that didn’t stop my tantrum. “I offered to change for him, and he still didn’t want me.”

“Because he cared too much to let you. That’s not a bad thing.” She continued to rub my back. “I promise you, it will get easier.”

I wondered if he’d slept with someone new yet. Or if he’d been sleeping with other people since the moment his ship docked. I hadn’t even looked at anyone else, my heart so irrevocably broken. I didn’t desire the things I used to, like a glass of wine at dinner, a chocolate-covered strawberry at the market, a good book. I didn’t desire anything whatsoever, let alone another person.

A guard approached us on the grass. “Queen Rolfe, His Majesty wishes to speak with you.”

Mother rose to her feet. “I’ll be back, Harlow.”

I was glad duty called her elsewhere. My mother was always my confidante, my best friend, the person I told everything to. But in this situation, she couldn’t help me. No one could.

I sat there alone, the breeze moving through my hair, the sun continuing to set. Night would descend soon, and that was the hardest part of the day for me. It meant I was alone in a bedchamber, alone between the sheets, knowing other lovers in the world were cuddled close together in front of the fire. It was hard to imagine ever wanting that again, ever wanting that with someone besides Aurelias.

---