Page 126 of Clash of Kingdoms

I turned to look at him.

“His bitterness had poisoned his mind. His ambition was the only antidote to his misery and that ambition turned to obsession and that obsession to make others suffer as much as he had suffered was the only cure for his pain. He was a lost cause.”

I looked at the courtyard again.

“I’m sorry you were the one who had to do it, but it would have been someone else at a later time. I wish it had been me…to spare you this pain.”

“You wish you’d killed Father?” I asked quietly.

He hesitated. “You’re my brother. I would do anything to shield your pain…including that.”

“How touching…”

Kingsnake ignored my coldness. “Cut me down to protect your vulnerability. But that won’t work forever, Aurelias. This pain won’t go away until you face it head on.”

“There’s only one way to make it go away.” Her palm on my cheek. The ache inside her chest, the ache she felt for my misery. Crystal-blue eyes that were both mischievous and so fucking pure. She was the only sheath to my blade, the only balm to my suffering.

“Then go back, Aurelias.”

I could still picture her mind so clearly, even though it’d been two months since I’d said goodbye. She probably assumed I was already in bed with someone new…when I couldn’t even entertain the idea. It felt like a betrayal even when I owed her nothing. “No.”

“Turn her into one of us?—”

“Never.” I loved her too much to take her soul. Her pure, good soul.

“Did you read the letter?”

My silence was my answer.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to hear her voice in my head…”

“Aurelias—”

“Are you here to make me feel better or ride my ass?” I snapped.

He moved his hand into his pocket and pulled out the piece of parchment, probably having found it exactly where he’d left it on my desk and realizing I hadn’t touched it. He opened it, read it in silence, and then started to read it aloud for me to hear. “Aurelias.”

My eyes clenched shut.

“I can’t predict the future, but I know for certain that the moment you read this, I’m just as miserable as the morning you left. I spend my nights alone and my afternoons avoiding the people I love. Solitude is the only tolerable friend in misery such as this…”

My eyes remained shut, listening to my brother’s words but hearing Harlow’s voice.

“There will always be a part of me that hopes you’ll return. Whether that’s in a few months…or a few years. Some may say I’m too young to know this, but I know our love was real. I know most people will never feel an ounce of it in their entire lives. I know most people will brush aside my words as childish infatuation because they can’t even fathom a love like ours. They can say what they want. I know what I felt…what I still feel.”

My eyes opened again, the ache inside my chest so much more painful now than it’d been a few minutes ago. It was unbearable, but I couldn’t bring myself to silence him because I hung on every word she said…like always.

“If you ever decide to return, I’ll be waiting for you. If I have a husband, I’ll leave him for you. If I have children, I’ll share them with you. If you ever step back into my life, it’ll be as if no time has passed. Even across the sea, my love for you will always endure…forever.” Kingsnake folded the sheet and returned it to his pocket.

I stared at the snow, the heat deep behind my eyes, locked up in the vault that would never open.

Kingsnake took a breath as he stared at the courtyard with me. “There’s nothing left for you here, brother.”

The skies were cloudy, and there was fog in the air. The distant landscape was impossible to see through the thickness. It was exactly how I viewed my life, like it was nothing but opaque. “I have three brothers and two sisters…and a snake.”

Kingsnake stared at the side of my face.

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