Kingsnake watched me, understanding that I had just accepted the new position. “And what will you do with the kingdoms?”
“I haven’t given it any thought,” I said coldly. “Because I just killed my father twenty minutes ago.”
Kingsnake backed off. “We’ll leave in two days.”
It was hard to make love.
There were a lot of reasons for it. One, my heart was heavy with grief. It was saddled with guilt too. And two, I was fucking depressed. Depressed that I would leave her behind in two days and never see her again. I’d done all of this for her…just to leave.
She couldn’t feel my emotions the way I felt hers, but I suspected she knew exactly what I was experiencing. She was in my arms in bed, her hand stroking my chest as she rested her head on my shoulder. We hadn’t said much since we’d returned to the cottage, and all of our stares were heavy with words that we chose not to share. The worst was now in the past, but it felt like it was in the future.
“Aurelias.” She propped her head up, her long hair falling behind her like a curtain.
“Yes, baby.” My fingers automatically moved toward it, touching the silky strands.
A tightness formed in her chest, a painful lump in her throat. “I—I know we already talked about this, but…” Her eyes dropped to my chest as she lost the words. “Are you sure you can’t stay?” She swallowed, keeping her eyes down to protect herself from the disappointment.
My fingers froze in her hair, unable to bring myself to answer the question.
Silence passed, and she didn’t look at me.
I finally found the courage to speak. “I’m sorry, baby.”
A wave of hurt moved through her, but her expression didn’t change.
“If I were willing to be a vampire, would you be willing to live here?”
Just when I thought I couldn’t hurt more, my pain reached new depths. “I don’t want that for you.”
Her eyes lifted to mine. “It’s my choice?—”
“No.”
“My father told me he would understand…”
“He did?” I asked quietly.
She nodded.
This pain would never end. “If I won’t be mortal for you, then you shouldn’t be immortal for me.”
“They’re incomparable. It’s one life for an eternal life?—”
“Baby.” My hand cupped her cheek. “My answer won’t change.”
Once she realized the future was set and she couldn’t alter it, her eyes started to moisten. “Why?”
Now I was the one to avoid her gaze.
“I’m willing to do it for you so we can be together, but your answer is still no. Is it just an excuse? Is it because you don’t want to settle down?—”
“No.” I looked at her again.
“Then why won’t you change for me?” Her tears started to get heavier.
This was fucking unbearable. “Because I have three brothers, Harlow. I’ll die in eighty years, and they’ll carry on without me. Because I’ve already lived fifteen hundred years, and it passed in the blink of an eye. It’s just not enough time…”
“Enough time for what?” she asked, the tears spilling over. “To screw women that you’ll never love as much as me?”