Page 100 of Clash of Kingdoms

My arms were crossed over my chest because of the chill, but the bumps that formed on my skin had nothing to do with the temperature. I knew this conversation would be different, that we were on the precipice of something new.

His eyes dropped to the floor because he couldn’t look at me as he spoke. “There was someone else…a long time ago.”

I remembered the first time it had come up. She was barely mentioned, and he offered no detail. I just remember being so jealous, jealous of someone who wasn’t even in his life anymore.

“Her name…was Renee.” His voice quavered as he said her name, like it brought him immense pain just to put those syllables together. “I loved her very much…and asked her to marry me.”

It hurt to hear this. Hurt to know there had been someone else who’d loved him as much as I did. We’d agreed this relationship would end, but I’d claimed him as mine for forever, even during times I didn’t know him. But that flush of emotion passed…and I hurt for him.

He paused for a long time, like he might not go on. “She was human…so I planned to turn her.” Now he swallowed, the features of his face tightening like he had willed himself to finish the sentence. “But the taste of her blood… I couldn’t stop…and I didn’t stop.” His breath quickened, and then a sheen formed over his eyes.

My world crashed down as I saw Aurelias crumple before me.

“I—I killed her.” The tears broke free, pooling in his eyes and streaking down his face. “I fucking killed her.”

I didn’t feel the tears before they formed. I only realized they were falling when my cheeks became soaked.

“I’d never struggled to stop myself before. But because I loved her…her blood was different.” He inhaled a deep breath and closed his eyes, forcing the emotion back deep inside the vault from which it came. When he spoke again, his voice was stronger. “That’s why I can’t feed from you, Harlow…because I’ll kill you.” He finally had the strength to raise his chin and look at me, to see tears for him on my face. “That’s why I can’t turn you…because I’ll kill you. I loved her with my whole heart. Could have spent eternity with her in bliss. But somehow…” His eyes flicked away for a moment. “And I feel like shit for even saying this…” He took a breath. “Somehow…I think I love you more.”

I moved into him and cupped his cheeks, bringing our faces close together. “Aurelias…”

He rested his forehead against mine. “I should have told you.”

“It’s okay.” My arms hooked around his neck as his arms circled my waist. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

His eyes remained down. “I know you are, baby.” His arms tightened around me and pulled me close, and he moved his chin to the top of my head. “I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

“It’s forgotten.” The context of the situation had changed, and now it didn’t feel like a betrayal but a necessity. It felt good to have him in my arms again, to smell him, to know that he was mine.

He pulled away and looked into my face, his old tears still visible on his cheeks.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t let it go.”

He shook his head. “You had every right to be upset. It was my fault for being a coward.”

“You are not a coward, Aurelias.” I looked into his eyes, seeing a man I admired as much as my father. “You’re the most courageous man I’ve ever met.” No other man would do as much for me as he had. He pledged his life to me, and he couldn’t even marry me. He did all this so someone else would have me someday in the future.

“I’m required elsewhere, but all I want to do is make love to you.”

After this long separation, it was all I wanted too. “We have all night…”

His eyes bored into mine, like he was tempted to sweep me off my feet and carry me to the bed. “All night it is.”

TWENTY-TWO

AURELIAS

I stepped into my father’s tent, seeing my brothers there, all healed from the feeding.

I could tell my father was in a sour mood—and not just because I could feel his emotions.

He sat behind the desk and stared at me, accusation in his eyes. “I lost nearly all the vampires I gave you.”

“I know.”

“Good vampires. Vampires who deserved eternity. But they’re dead—forever—because of you.”

My brothers all looked at me but said nothing.

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