Page 21 of Clash of Kingdoms

I kept my eyes on my hands. “Just know that it’ll hurt me a million times worse than it’ll hurt her.”

“I’d rather it not hurt her at all,” he said quietly. “When she hurts, I hurt.”

I’d grown to care for this man, and I knew my departure would wound more than just Harlow, but everyone who loved her. I hated myself for that. I would protect them from a massacre, but I would still leave behind destruction. “I’m sure you’ve been there…and you made it through.”

He gave a subtle shake of his head. “I’ve only loved one woman—and I married her.”

Hundreds of women had graced his bed, but only one graced his heart. My love was just as hard to earn because it had taken me five hundred years to love someone again.

“What about you?”

My thoughts shattered at the question, and then I felt his stare on me. “I loved someone a long time ago…but they died.”

His stare remained hard, but inside, his body softened, his muscles relaxed, and the sadness poured in. “Were you married?”

“She was my fiancée.” I told him more than I’d told Harlow, because somehow, it was easier to share this with him.

He didn’t ask me how she’d died, exactly like I’d expected. “I’m sorry.”

“It happened a long time ago.” It had taken years before I could sleep with a woman again. There was too much guilt. Too much heartbreak. Decades passed, and I still mourned like it had happened the day before. At some point, it got easier, but it took a very long time, because when I felt something, I felt it intensely.

“How long ago?”

“Five hundred years.”

The sadness was still in his chest, feeling empathy for me when he’d felt hatred a second ago.

“I didn’t think I could ever love someone again, but then Harlow knocked the wind out of me.” She was a fucking tornado of fire, passion, and bliss. I’d gotten swept up in the current, and she pulled me under. I hadn’t taken a full breath since.

He was quiet, and then a different kind of sadness filled his chest. “You love my daughter?”

I hadn’t realized what my words implied. When it came to my feelings, it was hard to mask them, because they were obvious in everything I did, every waking moment. There was no other reason I would be there, sitting in the fucking dirt in a land that wasn’t home. “I thought that was obvious…” My eyes were on the mountains as I spoke, not expecting him to respond to a statement so profound. It was awkward for me and uncomfortable for him.

Anger and disappointment didn’t emit from him. His mind seemed to be clear, his heart empty of anything at all. It was one of the rare times when I couldn’t discern the emotions because they were too complicated to strip down. “I’ve seen the Bone Witch turn immortal beings human. Perhaps she could do the same for you.”

I remembered how it felt to be human. To be weak and unremarkable. To feel vulnerable without the abilities I now possessed. That was probably the worst part…and mortality was the second. But I didn’t tell him the truth, that I wouldn’t make the sacrifice for her, no matter how much I loved her. No one was worth that existence, a life-span that passed in the blink of an eye. “Maybe…”

We traveled before dawn, the light so minimal it was practically dark.

“How are the dragons?” I asked from the rear.

“Bored.” After our talk last night, he wasn’t hostile anymore. Anger didn’t burn in his chest like a lit pyre.

“Perhaps we should have them come closer—in case.”

“I agree. Wasn’t expecting to travel this far north. There’s only one thing I like about the east—no yetis.”

I nearly chuckled. “I second that.”

“You’ve met one?”

“One almost killed me when I crossed your lands. My sister-in-law spared me.”

He stopped then turned to look at me. “It was you who left those two yetis in the snow.”

“Yes.” Kingsnake took down one, and I’d nearly lost my head to the other. It had been dark, freezing cold, and an overall unpleasant experience.

The reminder would normally piss him off, but he turned forward and continued his trek.

---