Page 132 of Clash of Kingdoms

“Me too,” I whispered.

“I knew I would turn into my father if I didn’t come back to you. I would end up like him, bitter and angry, not caring who I hurt because I hurt. It was hard to leave my family, but they understood.”

I couldn’t imagine leaving my family. Choosing to live in a different place from my parents. Watching my father say goodbye to me. “I’m sorry.”

“I can’t feel your emotions anymore, but I know you mean that.”

My fingers moved down to his chest, feeling the hard muscles that were as strong as I remembered. “How does it feel…to be human?”

“I don’t love it, to be honest.”

“Why?”

“The weakness is something I’ll never get used to. My reflexes aren’t as sharp. I’m more vulnerable to the temperature, whether it’s hot or cold. I’m much hungrier than I used to be, needing to eat constantly.”

“You should see what my father eats for breakfast.”

“But it’s all worth it…just for this moment.” His arm circled my back, and he pulled me closer, both of our heads sharing the same pillow. The world began to stir outside the window as people got their days started, but we remained locked together in the little cabin, our bodies as one.

We spent the next few days together, retrieving food from the market and cooking in the cottage. We made the space our own, cleaning up the mess and changing the sheets. The curtains were pulled open to let the light fill the room, and the fireplace glowed when the nights turned cold.

It was a type of life we’d never had before. War was always in the back of our minds, but now there was only peace. We found new things to talk about, like our favorite dishes and flowers. I got to know him in a whole different way than I had before.

But he always had a tone of melancholy to him. When we were locked together in passion or conversation, it vanished, but the second he was left to his own devices, it returned. Storm clouds formed over him—and it poured.

He was trapped in one of those moments now, sitting on the couch looking out the window, the sun striking him in the face and highlighting the depths of his eyes.

“Aurelias?”

He stilled at his name and shifted his gaze to me.

I took the spot beside him, my hand moving to his arm. “What is it?”

“What is what?” he asked, his eyes hardening as he looked at me. Once his train of thought was disturbed, he became himself again, looking at me like I was the only flower in his garden. There was love in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

“The source of your despair…”

Now his eyes turned guarded.

“It’s okay if you’re sad…that you left.”

He shifted his gaze to avoid mine. “That’s not what it is.”

“Because if it is, you can tell me. I know I would be sad if I’d left my family behind.”

“Baby.” His hand moved to mine. “I have no regrets. There’s no way I could ever regret this…my only source of happiness.”

He made me melt on the spot, made me weak at the knees.

“I just…” He kept his eyes averted. “I carry a lot of pain and guilt…about my father.”

That had been my next guess. “I’m sorry.”

“My brothers hold no ill will against me. Kingsnake even said he’d deserved it. In my heart, I know there was no other outcome to the situation. But nonetheless, it fucking hurts.” He swallowed. “The only time it feels better is when I’m with you…and I’m not thinking about it.”

“It’s okay not to be okay, Aurelias. Even if your father wasn’t a good man, it’s okay to grieve for him.” My hand squeezed his, feeling the heat from his flesh. It kept me warm at night, and that was a change that I loved. “It’s okay to be sad.”

He gave a subtle nod in understanding.

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