In this instance, the only way to stop these flames was to let them burn out on their own.
We must have sat there for an hour before I said anything. “Ian’s a fucking idiot.”
She was on her third tankard—because she was a woman who could drink.
“The second he’s back, I’m stabbing my dagger through his hand.”
She traced her finger around the rim of her glass, her eyes following her movements. It was late now, probably almost midnight. The bar was nearly empty, and the only people remaining were the ones who needed to drink to get to sleep.
I stared at her, looking hard into her face, the woman who had fused her soul with mine. “I love you.”
Her eyes lifted instantly, and a small smile moved on to her lips. “I know.”
I looked away again.
“Perhaps he’ll return with the information we need.”
“Perhaps he won’t return at all…”
“Let’s not speak of such an outcome.”
“I’ve visited the east. It’s a strange place.” It was a barren land with extreme elements, with slavers and slaves, with fallen kingdoms and demons. “Ian will find nothing there but his own death.”
“Let’s not say that—”
“It’s a fucking suicide mission.” And that was why I was furious—because I couldn’t win this damn war without him. I couldn’t lead my people to victory with a broken heart. I couldn’t think straight without my brother next to me. I loved him with the same intensity as I loved my wife and children—unconditionally.
“Ian is selfless and brave—”
“He’s impulsive and irrational, and that’s exactly how he fucked up his marriage.”
“Huntley…”
“I told him not to go.”
“I know.”
“And he fucking did it anyway.”
“I think it’s an outcome we would have considered at some point anyway. Since they’ve already attacked us, they’re already fully aware that we’re aware of them. We have nothing to lose by showing our hand now. Perhaps they’ll march on HeartHolme, and all humankind will be enough to defeat them. Perhaps the vampires will be standing in our ranks, ready to fight for us with their abilities. But perhaps that won’t be enough. Perhaps a weakness would be more effective than an additional ten thousand men.”
“If I’d decided to pursue that avenue, I would have sent others in our stead, and I would have sent more men. That decision was for me to make—King Rolfe, King of the fucking Kingdoms, not some lowly steward.”
“Huntley.” Her eyes narrowed. “He has the blood of kings as much as you do.”
I looked away.
“And he just put his kingdom before himself and his relationship with his brother.”
“Because he’s an idiot—”
“Because he loves as deeply as you do, Huntley. He loves his family as much as you do. He loves this kingdom as much as you do. His decision was a betrayal, but it’s a forgivable one. I know the true cause of your rage—and its fear. It’s fear that he won’t come back.”
TWENTY-THREE
HARLOW
I stepped into my bedchambers, a room that was close to my parents’, with a great view of the city and the cold landscape beyond. I preferred to stay with Aurelias, especially since our world could end at literally any moment, but I knew my father’s reaction would be unkind. As an adult woman who had earned her crown, I could do whatever I pleased, but with so much stress already on my father’s shoulders, I didn’t want to add to the pile.