Page 140 of Don't Go Faking My Heart
When we've made it far enough away, I collapse into laughter and make Rusty give me a piggyback ride. "Ashty, babe. Ashty."
"You keep sayin' it in my ear like that, and I'm gonna like it a little too much."
I laugh and kiss his neck as he holds my thighs and walks us over to the tent backstage.
I pat his shoulders and hop down outside the tent. "Knock knock," I say, and we walk through the open flap. Fans are blasting in the tent, blowing air on Lou's flowy off-white maxi skirt and sage sleeveless top. She paces in front of them with her arms held just high enough that it's obvious she's trying to cool off her sweat.
I have never in my life seen Lou nervous.
"How you doing?" I ask.
"Why did I do this to myself? I haven't performed on stage since I was twelve!"
"You were the youngest person to ever win the Sing Off at the State Fair. You got this!"
"No. I'm a YouTube artist for a reason. I don't want to sing in front of people. I want to sing in front of a camera with weird lighting and my hair covering my face so no one knows who I am."
"Half the town already knew who you were," Rusty says. "You're among friends."
"You guys are my friends! These people are …"
"Neighbors. And you're too Southern not to know what that means," Rusty says.
She narrows her eyes. "Your sound argument is not wanted here. This is a logic-free zone, thank you very much."
"My mistake," he says.
She clutches my shoulders. "I can do this, right? Can I do this?"
"You can do this! Pretend everyone is in their underwear."
"Ew! Why would I do that?"
"To make you less nervous?"
"Performing to people wearing their underwear in a field is much more nerve-wracking than performing to people wearing clothes," Lou says like I've lost my mind. "Why would they be in their underwear? It sounds nefarious."
"Perfect! See, you've already thought of something even worse than performing your own music in front of a crowd. If you get nervous, just tell yourself, 'at least they're all wearing clothes!'"
Lou exhales a laugh. "That's not bad."
I put my arm over her shoulders. "You got this, Lou. Security took away everyone's phones, so no one can even record you. What's the worst that can happen?"
"I make a mistake, forget the words, faint, throw up, pee my pants."
"When you put it that way …" I say. "If you're really that nervous, play a track and pretend?—"
"A track?" she says aghast, as I knew she would. "I would rather mess up, faint, pee my pants, and throw up all over myself."
I grin. "There she is."
Determination settles on her brow. "Here I am."
"Hello Sugar Maple!" Lou says in the microphone a few minutes later. Raucous cheers greet her words. "I can't tell y'all how excited I am to be with you tonight. And believe me, this sheen of sweat is all weather and definitely not me being nervous that my big secret got revealed, or anything."
People laugh generously, and the energy only stays ultra high and ultra supportive as Lou starts the first few chords of her first song.
"I'm gonna start us off the way my career started, with a little song I call "Double or Nothing."
