Page 30 of It's Always Sonny

Not me, mind you. One. One can’t wait.

I don’t want any such destruction. I like my tidy walled fortress, thank you very much.

Sonny raps his fingers on the table between us and just smiles that infuriating smile. I tighten up my walls and double check my defenses.

“I shouldn’t keep you any longer,” I say with the most saccharine smile the world has ever known. “Your family will be missing you.”

“See you around, Parker.”

“Bye, Santino.”

He walks away, and I absolutely do not let my body shift in his direction like I’m a sunflower and he’s the sun.

These metaphors are getting out of control.

I can’t let myself follow.

When the last of the Luciano clan heads out of the cabin, I call Jane, who already left.

She doesn’t answer.

In fairness, her calendar says she’s in a meeting, but does that stop me from leaving a biting voicemail?

No, it does not.

“Jane Harrington Carville, you sneaky, conniving, meddling beast. You owe me. If I don’t come home in four days to a new pair of Jimmy Choos, I will set every animal on this farm loose in your house while you’re sleeping.”

I text the Janes.

PARKER: DID YOU ALL KNOW ABOUT THIS?

LOU: About what?

ASH: You mean Sonny, right? Of course I knew. He posted about it on his socials this morning. I texted him to see when I can come over. Are you saying you didn’t know?

PARKER: That’s exactly what I’m saying.

ASH: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

PARKER: I am not amused.

PARKER: Millie, Jane, I notice a lot of silence from you two.

MILLIE: *GIF of little kid whistling and trying to look innocent*

JANE: Sorry, in a meeting. Can I call you back?

PARKER: That’s not how the auto reply works, Jane!

MILLIE: It’s not like we’re trying to set you up.

PARKER: WAIT, ARE YOU TRYING TO SET US UP?

MILLIE: NO! I said we AREN’T trying to set you up!

PARKER: But you’d only say that if you were trying to make me think you weren’t trying to set us up!

MILLIE: What did you think we were doing?

---