Page 48 of It's Always Sonny

“Good luck,” Sienna says. We sit down, and she and Chris shovel food into their mouths like they’re in an eating competition. “I like Parker a lot. But be careful, baby bro. I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

“Nothing can hurt me unless I let it.”

Chris laughs, and a bit of omelet flies out of his mouth. “That’s one of those things parents say to their kids to convince them not to beat up their brother for saying something mean. Things can hurt you. You can choose if you’ll let it control you, I guess. But when you love someone, you give them the power to hurt you. That’s part of the risk, but it’s also what makes the reward so great.”

“Ooh, cheers to that,” Sienna says, holding her fork out to her husband. He bumps it with his, and they share a look of naked adoration. These two have been through the furnace of affliction, and every time they have another failed pregnancy test, it somehow makes them stronger.

“You guys are disgusting,” I say. “You’re my heroes.”

Sienna smiles warmly. We eat quickly, and soon, Chris is taking our dishes to the cart.

“Are you—are you doing okay?” I ask.

“Of course,” she says. “Oh, you mean with being surrounded by babies when my body refuses to do what it should?”

“Yeah, that.”

“Mostly. I love being here, but I wish I had kids running around this place with their cousins. I want it to bad, it hurts.”

“Is it hard with Lauren being pregnant?”

She looks at our glowing sister-in-law. “Eh, not really. I wish I were pregnant, but it’s not like her being pregnant takes away my ability to, you know? It’s like … pie. We’re not eating from the same tin. Every piece she gets is independent of the pieces I don’t. Her enjoying her pie has nothing to do with mine. Does that make sense?”

“Intellectually, yes. Emotionally, no. You’re a rock, See-See.”

“Yeah, I’m basically the best person you’ve ever known.”

“The humblest, too,” I say.

“Um, obviously. I am amazing at humility.”

Chris returns to the table, and he and Sienna review PJ’s new itinerary. They are perfect for each other, but no matter how remarkable their attitude is, this is still hard for them.

I want so badly for them to be happy.

As close as I am to my brothers, See-See and I have always been closer. Moving as much as we did was hard on all of us, but it was hardest on her. I had sports everywhere I went. The guys on the teams never seemed to resent having someone come in and dominate, and I was savvy enough to tone it down at first so I could fit in.

Sienna is brilliant, but she’s ultracompetitive. She couldn’t tamp down her natural dominance—and she shouldn’t have had to in order to make friends—but she also didn’t know how to be humble or self-deprecating. It’s another thing she shouldn’t have had to do, but it would have helped her make friends faster. Instead, her dominance and her awareness of it bred resentment more than anything. It took longer for her to fit in everywhere we went, and just when things would get good for her, we’d move.

The one thing that always lifted her was, well, me. If she was having a bad day, I made it my mission to cheer her up. Sometimes it would be a pick-up game of basketball, other times it could be a chocolate chip cookie bake-off. She would reluctantly agree, but soon, she’d forget about whatever stupid thing one of the kids at the American school said as the competition took over.

And every time, that smile on her face was worth it.

Chris and Sienna watch Gabe feeding his toddler at the table next to us. Her giggles as the “choo choo train” reaches her mouth are as exquisitely painful as they are adorable.

Sienna looks like she’s been stabbed.

“Well, it’s been nice knowing you,” I say, standing.

“Where are you off to so early?” she asks.

A few other people stand, and Sienna and Chris look at them and then at their itineraries.

“The games have begun,” I say. “I’m going to win that trophy.”

They jump up and race me to the first challenge.

Chapter Fourteen

---