Page 106 of It's Always Sonny

“What? Why would you have round hay bales?”

“Because they’re more moisture resistant,” Rusty says.

“Huh? How does that work?”

“Noah, cork it,” Emma says.

“Yeah, not really the time for an agricultural lesson,” Sonny grumbles. He looks up at me, both nervous and trusting. We’re only a few feet apart. It’s amazing what an extra fourteen inches of height can do for a person, to say nothing of his arm span.

“What do you want to do?” Sonny asks.

“I’m going to lie on my stomach and reach Sweetness down. Can you grab him?” Sonny nods and reaches out.

I spin and roll onto my stomach and give Sweetness a kiss on his scruffy head.

“Steady, buddy,” I whisper. “We got you. You’re gonna be okay.”

Hanging my chest over the edge, I engage my core and I reach the shivering, squirming goat down to Sonny.

He steps onto the wall just long enough to take Sweetness. Then he gets back down to the barrels and hands him down to Rusty.

And I breathe a sigh of relief.

“Think I can grab you, too?” Sonny asks.

“Uh, no. I’m pretty sure falling off a barrel isn’t allowed by the NFL.”

“Funny. What do you want to do?”

“I’m going down the same way I came up. Can you give me space?”

Sonny uses his brothers’ shoulders to hop down to the ground, giving me a wide berth.

The metal beam is so close. It’s only as far as skipping the last step on a staircase. The difference is that when you skip that last step on a staircase, the worst thing that happens is you fall to the landing.

If I miss this step, I end up in a full body cast or possibly dead.

No big deal.

My pulse is only speeding up to a dangerous level, and all.

“Hey, I’m right here,” Sonny says, his low voice calm and steady. I close my eyes and inhale slowly, deeply. I remember the feel of Sonny’s heartbeat against my lips when I pressed them to the side of his neck last night. I think of breathing in the same air he was breathing and of lying with him this morning, my body curled against his. I channel the feeling of his arm around me, of our chests rising and falling in unison.

I breathe in and out, in and out, and just like this morning, that feeling of my lungs being totally, blissfully full comes over me.

I got this.

I get into a squat position and then fall forward to the bar, catching myself easily with both hands. Then I hold on to the bar and am about to let myself down in a reverse pull-up when the look of awe on Sonny’s face inspires me.

This isn’t so high.

Not when Sonny will catch me if I fall.

I loop one leg around the bar, instead, and let myself fall backward until I’m hanging upside down from my leg. Sonny steps back on to the barrel, and Anthony and Gabe each steady him so he can catch me and bring me down.

Our faces are only inches apart.

“I want to Spiderman kiss you so badly.”

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