Page 50 of How We Fooled

I pull over and drop my head to my hands and cry.

It’s true. I’ve dreamed of what it would be like to fall in love. Real love. The kind that I felt Eli and I were building. I know we have it. That something special was there from the first day we met. The comfort level I have with him is almost like we are kindred spirits who were joined from a past life, meant to be together in this one.

I’m startled when I hear a knock on my window. I turn and see through blinking eyes Justine standing there with a concerned expression.

I roll down my window, wiping my eyes as I do.

“Hey there. Is everything okay?” she asks.

I close my eyes, inhaling as more tears fall. “No.”

She bends down so she’s more at my level, placing her hands on the window frame. “What’s wrong?”

I look around, trying to figure out how she’s here right now, then see I parked in front of a park. I glance around and see Tucker pushing Emily on a swing and chuckle to myself.

Of course I would run into her here. In Stockton, I could drive around all day and never see anyone I knew, but not in a small town.

She reaches in and places her hand on my shoulder. “What’s going on? I saw you pull over, and when I saw your head in your hands, I knew it couldn’t be good.”

I look over at Tucker, then to her, realizing their age difference even more in this second. I knew he was a little older, but now that I really think about it, it’s obvious he’s a good deal older than her. I mean, he has a son who’s my age, and Justine is not that much older than me.

“How far apart are you and Tucker in age?” I ask.

She lets out a sharp laugh. “Does this have to do with Eli? He can’t be that much older than you.”

I shake my head. “No, he’s not older …” I leave the rest of the sentence hanging there, seeing if she’ll grasp what I’m thinking without me having to say it.

She tilts her head to the side. “Are you older?”

I nod.

“Like how much older?”

I close my eyes, inhaling a long, deep breath.

“Should I get in the car? This seems serious.”

I nod again, and she moves to the passenger side, opening the door and sliding in before turning to me.

“Okay, spill it. What’s going on?”

I muster up the courage and blurt out, “He’s eighteen.”

Justine tilts her head toward me a tiny bit, then raises her eyebrows. “And?” she asks like I left something out—which I did.

“And I’m twenty-three.”

Justine places her hand on her chest. “Tucker and I are fifteen years apart. That’s way different than the five years between you two.”

I drop my head against the headrest and sigh.

“Why does that bother you so much? He’s of legal age, and he for damn sure doesn’t look eighteen.”

“I got a job,” I say, staring up at the ceiling.

“Why does that not sound like a good thing?”

“Because it’s for a teaching position at Leighton River High School, where he is going to be a senior this year.”

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