Page 46 of How We Loved

Natalie turns to me with a somber expression, holding up her palms to me. “I’ll always be honest with you. And no, it’s not okay, but I guess it’s like the Halloween costume idea or you sitting on Ben’s lap. I can see why he wouldn’t like that, especially since he doesn’t know you guys or your history.”

Ashley looks at me in the rearview mirror. “I can see Marcus not really being okay with me having a guy best friend either.”

I sigh. “So, I’m just supposed to end my friendship that’s seriously always been a huge part of my life?”

“No. I’m definitely not saying that,” Ashley says.

“Me neither,” Natalie says. “No guy can tell you who you can or can’t hang out with. Maybe just ease into it more. Let the two of them get to know each other.”

“I hoped after last night, they would be more okay with each other. I felt like it was, and then something changed.”

“I saw them at the restroom together,” Susie says, her voice laced in hesitation. “It didn’t look too friendly either.”

I turn to her, sitting next to me. “I thought Ben had followed him there, but Trevor came back, acting like nothing happened, so I didn’t think anything of it.”

“I don’t know what happened or what was said, but as I was walking up, someone else opened the door to walk out of the guys’ restroom, so I could see them standing inside.”

I look down at my fingernails, not sure what to think. Is Ben the one trying to ruin this for me? Did he threaten Trevor or something?

Ashley pulls into the mall and is quick to find a parking spot. “Don’t let either of them get to you. Their problem is with each other, not you. If Ben wants to stay your friend, then he needs to accept Trevor. And if Trevor is going to be your boyfriend, then he needs to accept Ben as your friend. Just give it time. You’ll work things out.” She shuts off the car. “Until then, let’s go have some shopping therapy. That solves all problems!”

She’s right; I need to not stress over the two of them, but if Ben did indeed say something to Trevor, I’ll need to set the record straight with him and make sure he knows that’s not okay. He needs to respect Trevor and my relationship with him.

I exit the car and am surprised when I see Eli’s truck parked in the lot. His black Ram TRX is not different from any other truck out here, except for the tiny USA Baseball sticker in the bottom-left corner.

Knowing something’s been going on with him, I don’t say anything to the girls, as I don’t want to bring attention to him being here, and we make our way into the mall.

I didn’t realize how much I was missing out on, not going shopping with other girls. It is so much more fun to ask their opinion on things and try out new looks that they suggest. In the past, I’ve either been with my dad or Ben, who both hate shopping, so I switched to buying most of my stuff online, but I might never go back to either of those options ever again.

We’re all in the dressing room, modeling for each other the things we chose, when I head out to grab another size of something.

As I walk across the store, I see Eli above the racks and laugh. I can’t see anyone else, but since he’s so tall, I see him walking by in his signature baseball hat that he wears all the time.

“Eli!” I say as I pop out from behind the rack.

He freezes like a statue, his eyes roaming down the aisle to someone standing there before looking back to me. When I see who he’s with, my mouth opens in shock.

She’s got her back to me, so I pop back to where I came from and whisper to Eli, “Are you here with her?”

Eli doesn’t answer my question, but he doesn’t need to—his expression says it all. He’s not only been caught with his hand in the cookie jar; he’s done stolen the entire thing.

No wonder he’s been keeping this a secret.

My heart breaks for him. It’s been obvious for a while now that he’s into someone, and I hate that it’s someone no one else can know about.

I step back even further and hold up my hands to him. “Your secret is safe with me,” I whisper. “But I’m here with the girls, so you should leave before they see you.”

He nods and walks to her. I peek around the corner to watch him whisper something in her ear, and they both leave in a hurry.

With a sigh, I stand back up straight, grab the item I was looking for, and head back into the dressing room, acting like I didn’t just learn about that bombshell.

Once I’m home from the mall, I hang out at my house until Trevor gets off work. He’s coming to my house tonight, where we plan on just hanging out and watching a movie.

Though hanging out with the girls got my mind off of things, it changed my thoughts from Trevor asking me not to hang out with Ben to more of trying to find out what was said in that restroom.

I’ve thought about calling Ben a hundred times to ask him directly, but I don’t want to tell him why I am asking to begin with. I know the second I tell Ben that Trevor said he wanted me to distance myself from him, shit would hit the fan, and Ben would never like Trevor, so I decide I need to ask Trevor first to find out what really happened.

Trevor arrives, and I meet him at the door so I can get a kiss before my dad sees us.

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