Page 77 of Unmatched

He shrugs. “You should try it sometime.”

“What did she say?” I don’t mean to growl, but it definitely comes out that way. I have nearly called Lydia half a dozen times since I boarded the plane in Denver, but I’ve always stopped because what would I even say?

I miss you.

I love you.

I still want you.

I try to imagine what she’s doing without me back home. She’s probably happier, camped out in the kitchen with her laptop, PJs, and glasses, making business calls. Maybe she doesn’t miss me at all.

Or maybe she does.

The picture in my head changes, and she’s alone at home in our bed, reaching for her nightstand. She lies naked across the covers, legs spread wide as she thinks of me, vibrator humming in her juices.

Fuck.

I shift in my seat and check myself. In the ten years we’ve been together, Lydia has never once indicated that she pleasures herself. That rabbit is destined to gather dust.

“She didn’t say much.” Seth twirls a coaster in front of him. “Called to check in because she was worried. Said you told her not to come.”

I look away.

Seth lays down the coaster. “Anton, this is definitely none of my business, but I don’t know if you’ve got the right read on your wife.”

I pound my fist on the table. “Have you not been listening to me for the past...what, year? Two years? I told you about that whole disaster at the hotel.”

“Look, I’m not stupid. You two definitely have your issues. But just in case you’re blind, it’s fucking clear she loves you.”

I exhale and close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. When I look up, my gaze falls on a tiny little girl dashing by our table, giggling with delight. A man about my age follows her, presumably her dad, pretending to give chase. He swoops her up, tickling her as he carries her back to a smiling woman at a nearby table. Something deep in my chest tightens.

“We don’t want the same things,” I say. “She wants her career, and I want...something else.”

“How do you know?”

I scowl at him. “We just fucking talked about it.”

“Bro, no offense, but you’re not the most amazing communicator.”

“And you’ve never slept two nights in a row with the same woman, so maybe you’re not the best source of monogamy advice.”

“Touché.” He shrugs. “Maybe you guys should at least try therapy.”

I roll my eyes. “Great, so I can sit in some office with her and a stranger and talk about how she doesn’t actually fucking want me.”

“Dude.” He gives me a sidelong glance. “She didn’t have to suck your dick.”

“That’s my point! She didn’t do it because she wanted to.”

“Are you sure about that?”

I scowl and don’t give him an answer.

“Okay. Look, I know Lydia well enough. I feel confident saying she loves you. And you obviously still love her.”

“That doesn’t mean we’re meant to be,” I mutter.

Seth crumples his napkin and tosses it on the table. “Mom always said you were one of those couples that was going to last.”

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