Page 56 of Unmatched

“When you say you’ve made zero progress, what have you tried?” Caprice asks, jogging circles around me to make up for my slow pace.

“I mean, I told you about my awful striptease,” I say, jumping out of the way of a mom pushing a jogging stroller.

“Right,” she says matter-of-factly, “but what else? Did you use some new toys? Watch some porn? I’m just trying to get a sense of what hasn’t worked.”

I glance at her out of the corner of my eye, unable to even respond to that.

“Hey, I promise I won’t write about it.” Her tone is light, but she waits for a real answer.

I put in a burst of speed. “I haven’t . . . actually . . . tried anything else.”

“Like, nothing new?” she asks, keeping up easily. “Maybe that’s the issue. You guys need to spice things up.”

“No—” I pant. “I mean—we haven’t tried at all.”

This time it’s Caprice who comes to a halt. And for a second, I’m tempted to continue my sprint down the trail, away from this conversation. But when I think of leaving her by herself in the park with her five thousand internet comments, I slow and circle back around.

“Lydia,” Caprice says, stepping off the jogging path. “When was the last time you and Anton had sex?”

My hands fall to my sides as I join her, and I close my eyes. I know we’ve done it at least once or twice since New Year’s. There was that time he got handsy after the movie. But was that the last time? “It...it might’ve been six or eight weeks ago? I can’t remember.”

“But that means you haven’t at all since you guys?—”

“I told you, it’s hard for us to get started.” As soon as I say this, I realize it’s not actually true. “I mean, he doesn’t have any issue, but...”

My voice trails off. She already knows all the very worst about me and the state of my marriage. Still, I can’t bring myself to say this out loud.

“Lots of ladies need something to get their engines going—that’s totally normal,” she says gently. A group of joggers passes by, and I feel like every intimate detail we’re discussing is written on my face. Caprice pulls me farther from the busy path into the shade of a large tree. “Okay, I think I know what you need.”

“What’s that?” I say on autopilot, both dreading what she’ll say and ready for an easy answer to all my problems.

“Accessories. Something to help you get in the mood.”

I scrunch my nose. “Like what?”

“Well, I mean, that’s up to you. Maybe a nice negligee, or a game, or a good vibrator—you just have to figure out what works.”

My eyes widen, my whole body flushing bright red, particularly at that last suggestion. “Okay, thanks. I’ll give that some thought.” I turn back toward the jogging path.

“Do you want me to go with you?” she asks.

“Go where?”

“Lydia, your daycare is like, five minutes from Playful Pleasures.”

“The sex shop?” I can’t help it; my voice is totally shrill.

“Yeah. You need to go shopping.”

I try to imagine pulling into the parking lot of the two-story sensual superstore, let alone walking through the doors. I’ve driven by it every single day for years, but it has never crossed my mind to actually go in. “Caprice, that’s just not a place I would ever?—”

“Exactly,” she says. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“I—” My words catch in my throat. “No.”

She frowns. “Okay, that’s cool. I get it. It might be better if you went by yourself. I have a friend who works there, Daphne. She can hook you up.”

“You don’t understand...” My skin breaks into a light sweat.

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